KING KONG: TOO LONG, TOO LAME, TOO GROSS

KING KONG turned out to be the KING of DISAPPOINTMENTS for me. I was REALLY looking forward to this movie, but it seems Narnia will be the King this season. While there were some pretty intense scenes, overall I was very disappointed, and I don’t think it is worth your seven bucks:

1) TOO LONG – they wasted waaaaaaaaay too much time developing characters that weren’t central and that would just be eaten or otherwise killed. I guess they tried to make you care, or tried to build attachment, but it fell short. They would have been better off starting when they got to the island, everything before it is irrelevant and trite.

2) TOO LAME – ok, I like a strong woman who can hold her own, and she definately keeps her wits about her and is able to save her life that way… but fallling in love with the big ape? Paleeeeze. The loving looks were just too much. (Bleh!) She should have been glad when she was out of there, not wanting to go back. What did she want to do? Grow old with him and raise a family? She seemed to care more about Kong than the humans around her, even the guy who loved her and she had at least kissed (if not loved him.)

3) WAY TOO GROSS – PLEASE, PLEASE, PELASE do NOT take kids to this movie. The scene with the natives was very disturbing and disgusting. Carl almost getting his head crushed brutally like the guy before him was too much. It is very terrifying as they are being attacked. And then the deaths inside the wall. Just gross. It was like the 80’s again – how many gross ways can we kill a human?? The ‘bug pit’ was just disgusting.

4) TOO CGI – the special effects were admirable, but far from flawless. The fast CGI scenes looked WORSE THAN JURASIC PARK! And it was way too fake how many actually survived the stampede at the beginning. They should have all just died there and I could have gone home and gotten an extra hour of sleep.

What did i like? Hmmmmmm. Scenes of New York in the 30’s was fun. The Time’s Square marquis advertising a car “FOR AS LOW AS $445.” The Kong vs. the T-Rex’s was my favorite – too long and way over the top – but pretty good. Just so unbelieveable, and there is no way the girl would have survived without going to a chiropractor for life, and perhaps a therapist!

THE WORST: The ‘romantic’ scene with Kong and girl ice skating. That was so dumb.

Maybe I need to go see Narnia for the fourth time. King Long didn’t capture that ‘other world’ as well as it could have. I’m disappointed, I REALLY WANTED to like this movie!

IN THE END THE TRAILER WAS BETTER THAN THE MOVIE: it had suspese, it had plot, it had tention, it had rapid action, and it didn’t have a girl giving lovey dovey looks to a huge ape. The movie killed all that by being too long, too lame, and too gross.