We laugh and laugh as the tower crashes down. At the same time, we want to see how many chairs we can add, hoping we can make it even higher than the previous game. Oh, how nervous we are as we try to add chair after chair to our wobbly tower, wondering if we can somehow defy gravity and fate – always having more chairs than the laws of physics will allow us to stack. We have never been able to stack all the chairs that came with the game. Either we aren’t very good stackers, or the game creators were generous (or cruel) in the amount of chairs they provided with the game. We keep on trying to build a tower with all of them, but it always crashes down before we can make them all somehow fit.

It kind of reminds of of life and ministry.

I am the chair at the bottom, and my life and ministry tell me there is a whole box of things that I can add on top of myself. I keep on trying to stack them – oh so many things – but the reality is, I simply can’t ever get it all done. I’m a failure every single week. The chairs come crashing down, and I hope that maybe next week I’ll do a better job at stacking the chairs of life. Can you relate?

Sooner or later, we have to accept that life came with more chairs than can be stacked! Perhaps it was a cruel joke; more likely, God was being generous with all the opportunities we have each day. Perhaps it’s just that we are attempting too much. Remember, Jesus said HIS yoke is easy, and HIS burden is light (Matthew 11:30). So when it doesn’t seem easy or light, we’re probably attempting more than He is asking.

It might be time to let some chairs fall where they may, sit in the Lazy Boy, and open the Word.

Try it, He’ll like it!

Every show focuses on a “Kidmin Keyword.” This week brings us to the letter “S.” There are a host of great “S” words – silliness! strategy! servant leadership! and of course, Star Wars! (LOL)

But when it comes to children’s ministry – we are pushed and pulled in so many directions, I think we constantly need to be reminded to “keep it simple.” This doesn’t mean to abandon excellence or quality, but it means to not do more than God is asking us to do, and to focus on the basics and do those well, before we add more.

Keeping it S.I.M.P.L.E.

• STAFFING

Tips on how to staff your ministry; building a leadership team; recruiting volunteers; building a substitute strategy; and Karl’s “Secret Ace” streategy! (shhhh, don’t tell anyone!)

• INFRASTRUCTURE

Evaluating your program plan. This is the framework of your ministry. Ask a lot of “Why’s” – don’t assume every ministry should accomplish every ministry goal. They shouldn’t and can’t! And don’t be calendar-drive, be ministry driven. A blank calendar is O.K., if ministry is taking place!

• MEETINGS

Evaluate your meetings! WHY do you meet? When? What is the purpose? Expected or needed outcome. Start and END on time! Cancel if not truly needed.

• PLANNING

Look ahead. Karl gives his One Page Strategic Planning Secret. (Sorry, you gotta listen to get this valuable tip!)

• LOVE

This one is about YOU! What do YOU love about ministry? Why did YOU get into ministry? Don’t lose sight of this! Schedule it into your ministry week, or you will get dry and start to recent your ministry. Whether it is teaching, training, performing, coordinating a large even annually – make it a part of what you do!

• ENCOURAGEMENT

You are a Shepherd of kids and leaders/volunteers. Don’t lose sight of that in the midst of administrating. Start calls and e-mails with a word of encouragement. End with a short prayer. Bring back visitation. Surprise people by calling with no agenda. Be a pastor, not just a recruiter and scheduler. Make encouragement a priority by resurrecting hand written notes.

Let me encourage you to LISTEN TO THE SHOW and check out all the helpful links in the Show Notes. Every week the show notes are LOADED with helpful links to resources and webpages mentioned on the show!

At CPC last month, I did a workshop titled “10 Steps to a Ministry Reboot.” You can listen to it and get my notes for a limited time here: www.kidology.org/cpc12

In short, it was 10 basic areas of ministry / tips you need to address in order to both keep your sanity and have a well functioning ministry. Some of the tips are a little shocking to newer administrators. Like “Don’t Recruit” and “Stop Leading.” In other words, you should only recruit a leadership team, and they should do the rest of the recruiting (under your guidance), and don’t lead any ministries yourself. Equip leaders who lead under your leadership. It’s a workshop that often saves the sanity and ministry of those who hear it.

In response, I got the following e-mail today:

Hi Karl,

….Last week I had the opportunity to attend CPC in San Diego.  I attended your breakout:  ”Ten Steps to a CM Reboot…”  I appreciated the things you shared.  I am currently on a sabbatical that my church has blessed me with and this is exactly where I am at right now… I am at a point in my life where I need to re-invent myself as a leader and our ministry.

My question is, HOW does one make these changes.  It seems impossible and impracticable to implement all of these at one time.  So where does one start?  How do you implement these in the midst of trying to keep everything afloat?

Thanks again for sharing your wisdom and insight.

Blessings… [name removed]

It’s a GREAT question! I wanted to share here on my blog a little of what I shared with the person who wrote to me:

You are correct. You can’t do them all at once! Reinventing yourself and ministry WHILE keeping it going is the trickiest part of ministry, isn’t it? The key is prioritizing what needs to change and working on one area at a time.

What a blessing to have this sabbatical to refocus and get an opportunity to step back a bit and get some perspective. There is no “quick answer” – but I can encourage you to consider a few things.

1) Take a look at the Kidology Online Training I’ve put together. It contains five leadership labs to help leaders do just that. There are five training videos and five download kits to help walk you through this very process.

There is also a pack of all five available. If you work through these, it will really help you! It’s almost like having me as a personal coach.

2) That leads to the next best thing, getting yourself a personal coach, which we also offer on Kidology, known as Kidology Coaching.

A coach can really help you step by step to take things to the next level in your ministry by helping you set goals, holding you accountable, and helping you troubleshoot and problem solve specific problems while also identifying areas you can improve both personally and in the ministry itself. Perhaps a church that will invest in a sabbatical would also invest in coaching?

But the simplest answer is to take those “10 steps” and put them in priority order and address them two or three at a time. When I started my last ministry, I made a list of 12 areas I saw that needed to be addressed, and it took me eight years before I felt like I had addressed all 12 (and none to perfection, mind you!). I didn’t get to the ugliness of the facilities until the 7th year, and most CPs seem to start there – decorating. I wanted recruiting and the strength of the educational ministry to be my foundation, therefore I addressed those first, but not before I first addressed forming a leadership team. I had a list of my priorities (that no one saw but me, or I’d scare them all away!), and I hit them one at a time (or maybe two) and worked my way down the list, sometimes going back to refix things that were breaking because I had turned my attention to other things.

3) If you are not a member of Kidology.org yet, do join, and use the forum to ask specific questions as well, and you will find people answering with great advice.

Bottom line: you are not alone, there is help, and you can do it! Being willing to seek help, digging for answers, trying new things, and knowing you need to do some reinventing are half the battle. It is those who are content that have a problem.

The occasion is that next week, I’ll be heading up there to the frozen lands of Canada to serve as the keynote speaker for the VAULT Children’s Ministry Conference.

www.KidsMinistry.ca

I’m really looking forward to this conference! I’ll have an opportunity to speak at a breakfast for pastors with their children’s pastors on the secret to longevity in ministry, and I’ll be doing a Family Fun Night Magic with a Message show. At the conference I’ll be speaking on:

• YOU, the Missing Piece in a Child’s Spiritual Puzzle
• Making Your Discipline Problems Disappear
• The Stories of Ministry

During the first session, I will reveal my “secret” relational ministry tricks for connecting with kids – those tips that draw kids in and then double the impact of my teaching.

The second session will introduce a completely different approach to discipline that at first surprises people. By the end they’re praying not for less discipline problems but for more (seriously!) so that they will have more kids they can truly impact. You’ve just gotta be there to experience it.

The final session is new, and I’m excited about it. Too often we talk about how to build and strengthen and lead ministries and programs, but we forget that Jesus didn’t send us into all the world to build programs but to make disciples. Programs don’t make disciples; other disciples make disciples. The best a program can do is connect disciples to each other. If we don’t have stories of young disciples, we aren’t truly ministering. This session will challenge the way we minister within our programs.

If you are in Canada, I hope you’ll be there! Eh!

Barbara Baker and Karl Bastian

The highlight of my CPC this year was getting to see Barbara Baker again. I always keep an eye out for her. She is one of my favorite CPC “Regulars”. During the conference, INCM asked some of the speakers and bloggers to make some time to be interviewed for the INCM website throughout the year.  However, I told INCM’s Executive Director Michael Chanley they should interview Barb!

The range of products and services we offer our visitors and members now is breath-taking! And I oversee all of it.

It’s a little schizophrenic at times, and my staff are very gracious as I shift roles constantly, but its rough on me, my family and our organization. I also serve on the board of several other organizations and serve as a consultant to other kidmin ministries in our market helping them to succeed and improve behind the scenes. But it has spread me very thin. I have known for years that I needed a full time “right hand man” but have lacked the combination of the timing, funding and the right person for the job.But the time has come.

So we are taking a step of faith – it seems all three have come together. I have hired today a Vice President of Operations and will be shifting out of my current role of running everything at Kidology, moving into a Chief Creative Officer role, and working with a new full time VP of Operations who will work with me in the oversight and coordination of Kidology. Certainly, it will take some getting used to – but he seems to be the man for the job and it is definitely the time for it.

This is one of the times where we are stepping out in faith!

If you are a Kidology Champion – you are a part of making this possible, whether you are a donor, or just part of our Champion prayer network. (sign up, if you aren’t yet)

I would ask for your prayer as we head into 2012 for wisdom, insight, the mind of Christ, discernment and unity as a team as we make the needed changes and adjustments in order to take Kidology to the next level of ministry.

Do you know the IMPACT of Kidology.org?

When we combine all levels of members of Kidology.org, both Basic and Premium, as of right now, it is around 17,000 churches. Let’s be conservative and estimate that each of those churches represent only 100 children.

That would be 1,700,000 kids impacted by Kidology.org each and every week.

I believe it very well could be many more. We are accessed by users in over 70 countries.

God is using our website to make a difference in individuals, in families, in churches – and best of all – in the lives of kids.

OUR MISSION: To Equip and Encourage Those Who Minister to Children.

That’s why I am so thrilled to announce that starting January 1st, 2012 Kidology will have a new Vice President of Kidology. His name is Mark Maestas.

Mark has an Mdiv in Leadership from Denver Seminary. He has served as a Family Pastor, College Pastor, as an interim Children’s Pastor, but most recently also in business leadership at Target Stores here in the Denver area. Sorry, Target, but the Kingdom needs him more.

We look forward the leadership and management experience that Mark will bring to Kidology.org and ask that you pray for him as he prepares to begin in the New Year.

My theory is that it began last Easter when we ate at the Red Mountain Grill in Dillon, Colorado because when we visited the rest room there, he was truly impressed! That was indeed a fancy bathroom! And I believe it has been since then, that he has been commenting on the “fanciness” of restrooms. We’ll be in a very nice restaurant, but upon visiting the restroom, if it is lame or boring or dirty or junky, suddenly the restaurant is no longer “fancy” any more. We’ve been to some pretty nice places that Luke was pretty impressed with…. until he got to the restroom, and then he announced, “This restaurant isn’t fancy at all… it’s a fake.” It almost seems like his trip to the bathroom is just to investigate the “fanciness,” as a few times, after going in and checking it out, he’s no longer needed to “go” after commenting on the “fanciness” (or lack there of) of the facilities!

It got me thinking about our ministries. We can put on a pretty good front to impress visitors and try to make things look good and welcoming and “kid friendly” – but how far are we willing to go? How deep are we willing to go? How thorough are we willing to be? Or is it just a facade? Are we fancy or “fake?” If a restroom is gross and unkempt, what does that communicate to a guest? How valued do they feel at that point?

Once there are real “needs” that aren’t met, doesn’t the beautiful front we put on break down and aren’t people disappointed? In your ministry, when they see behind the scenes do they see that there really isn’t much there? Do they see cheap tile and a dirty suspended ceilings with cracks and doors that won’t even latch and towel holders that are empty and sinks that desperately need cleaning? And I’m not talking only literally here. Don’t miss the analogy to other needs.

When it comes to our ministry, it’s not only the fancy kids church room that counts… it may be the bathroom that leaves a lasting impression.

Just something to consider from my five year old.

You Have a Relationship Problem.

So You'd Like More Volunteers?

I have some hard news for leaders. This may come as a shock to some. You may need to sit down. Get a coffee or tea or soda… whatever you enjoy. But you need to hear me on this. There is a Grand Canyon of perception between why you serve in children’s ministry and why most volunteers volunteer.

You? You love kids! You knew long before Barna that there is a 32% greater chance of them coming to Christ if they are reached before the age of 12. You know Jesus said we ought to come as a child, not hinder the children, and blessed the children. You feel called to children’s ministry. You read Roger Field’s The Calling and it gives you goose bumps and you nearly cry because THAT’S YOU. You would serve if no one asked, no one noticed, and no one said thank you. Sure, you’d have your little pity party when no one was looking, and you’d whine to your spouse a little… but you’d never quit. Because, like Roger Field’s also said so well – You are a Special Ops Kidmin. The Few. The Proud. The kids need you. And lets be honest, you need them too.

But this creates a little problem for you.

You see, you assume others are this way. In fact, you are looking for and hoping to find others like this. I’ve got news for you. You may be the only one in your church. Actually, you may be the only one for a hundred miles!

Now, before you despair and cry “Woe is me!” – or get prideful, it’s O.K. I’m not so sure your church could handle two of you anyway. Or even the hundred mile radius around your church. God spaced us out for a reason.

What does this have to do with recruiting?

EVERYTHING.

It has so much to do with it – you’ve GOT to get this! So many children’s pastors/directors/leaders don’t get it, and it is precisely why they have recruiting problems.

Their problem isn’t recruiting – they recruit just fine. But they don’t keep volunteers, so they have to constantly be recruiting, and that gets harder and harder as the pool of potential recruits runs dry. Their problem is misunderstanding what their REAL JOB is and WHY those volunteers volunteered in the first place.

There is a HUGE, and I mean MASSIVE disconnect between WHY YOU THINK YOU  RECRUITED THEM and WHY THEY ACTUALLY VOLUNTEERED.

I know this, because I was a full time professional pastor for fifteen years, and now I’ve been a full time unprofessional volunteer for five years. So I’ve now lived on the “other side” and discovered the disconnect. And it’s startling.

People (let’s call volunteers what they really are, PEOPLE) come to church longing for two things, that are really the same thing: a connection with God and friendships. They are both: Relationship.

They complain that the church “isn’t friendly.” Right? So what do the pastors tell them? VOLUNTEER! “If you want friendships, don’t just sit in the worships service,” they tell these folks, “you must get involved.”

So they do!

WHY do they volunteer? Because like you, they want to fulfill the Great Commission and bring little children to Jesus?

Nope. Sorry. ‘Fraid not.

They want friends.

Period.

And they will give you MAX three months.

You Want Volunteers. They Want Friendships.

If they haven’t made friendships, they are done. They will volunteers somewhere else, and somewhere else, and then somewhere else, or visit another church – until they make friends.

People are starving for FRIENDSHIP.

You are looking for VOLUNTEERS

See the DISCONNECT yet?

The secret? Stop looking for volunteers. Start making friends. And you’ll have all the volunteers you need. I look back over my ministry and now realize why I never lacked for volunteers. I had friends. Tons of them! I took ‘em out to lunch. I used to fill Culvers almost every Sunday. The owner finally printed for me a BOX of  20% off on Sunday coupon business cards just to make sure I kept coming there. I partied with them. I visited them. I went camping. I played mini-golf. I had movie nights at my house. I forgot they were volunteers. They were my friends.

I hardly recruited. Of course, I had to at times, but I just made friends at every turn, and had all the volunteers I needed.

Now, I go to church looking for friends. I volunteer to find friends. If I serve and no one talks to me, no one greets me, no one asks me my name, or shakes my hand, or treats me like a person – if I’m just a volunteer, I lose interest. Even though I’m one of those Special Ops with all this passion and the biggest Kidmin website on the Internet. Without a friend, I’m outta there. Sorry, but that’s just reality. People need friends like a plant needs water.

If a lack of friendship can make ME lose interest – imagine someone who doesn’t have any passion for kids ministry? Someone who is just a normal everyday non-Kidmin wacko like me?

What’s to keep them around? They’d rather be an usher or fold up chairs after service if it means laughter and friendship and an invitation out to lunch after church.

DON’T MISS THIS: The ministry with the most volunteers will be the ministry where people connect and make friendships. If you don’t connect volunteers to yourself and each other, you will always be recruiting, over and over and over. Because you won’t be meeting the real need.

The need isn’t to staff your rooms - it is to help the people who come to your church to connect with God and each other. Do that, and your classrooms will all be staffed by friends. I dare you to try it.

Got a great e-mail today – one of those that says it better than I can.

Pastor Karl,

I recently was granted a Kidology scholarship and I am SO thankful. It would take a book to explain my situation but I am sure you have heard it all before… a struggling Children’s Ministry without a Minister so a member takes the task on and is just overwhelmed.

When I opened my email from Rachel (customer support) stating I had the Premium Membership there was a mention of this “Leadership Labs” series that was suggested I try out. I started the “First Things First” lab and had to pause the video after the first homework assignment. Can we say a gut check? I immediately started crying out to God and apologizing for making this MY task and MY service. I turned everything over to Him and asked Him to take care of everything. “Just show me what you want me to do,” I pleaded. I was in tears before our talk was over. That night I slept better than I had slept in weeks! I was actually planning on sleeping in the next morning, but the phone woke me up. On the other line was an older woman from our congregation. She explained that she just felt led to offer to be a volunteer with our kids (something we have REALLY struggled with). I was amazed. Here was a woman who was completely able to help, but that I never would have thought of to ask. I hung up the phone pretty much in shock, but immediately comforted in an assurance that He would indeed take care of everything — if I would just step back and let Him. Thank you for the gut check I needed it.

Amber

As I have written about many times, such as in my article, Give It Back to God, it is His Ministry, not yours. So give Him a chance!

Thanks, Amber for the encouraging note, you made my day, week… month! And I hope through this post encouraged many others as well!

Every year when Yosemite Summit rolls around, I am never ready for it.

And that is exactly why I do it.

I have projects that are not where I want them. Deadlines I’m behind on, so many to do’s unchecked they are overwhelming at times, countless more items floating in my head that need to get on a to do list. Even more dreams and ideas of things I’d like to do. The reality is, I’ll never be “ready” for a week off of work to just relax, refresh, renew and re-create. I am too driven by my life Mission and Calling. But I am also driven by disappointment. We all have this ideal in our mind and hearts of the way life is supposed to be – and when life turns out differently and we don’t get want we want (the core of sin is selfishness) we bury it in busyness, and as Christians we can bury it in Christian service and “Godly” busyness – whereas the rest the world may attempt to hide it in entertainment, the accumulation of power, wealth or pleasure – if not outright debauchery. (Some do seek to redeem it through a life well lived, though those are rare.) I have this ideal in my mind of the type of man, husband, and dad I want to be – and I just can’t get there. And I’m not just talking the deep stuff, its the simple stuff too, like an organized garage or getting the landscaping in the back yard finished. Hanging out with my dad more or reading all the books stacked in my office. So much to do and not enough time to do it in. I have a Calvin and Hobbes T-shirt that says,

“God put me on this earth to accomplish a set number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will never die.”

But the reality is, I am haunted by what I will left undone that I wanted to do, and what I did instead.

So I go to Yosemite Summit to STOP – stop everything – and Think. Listen. Reflect. Refocus. Reconsider. Recalibrate. Reconsider.

Have you ever just wanted to scream, “I need everything to just STOP ALREADY!” Well, that’s what Yosemite Summit is. The world freezes for several days. Everything stops. Nothing matters for a few days. You aren’t so important anymore. People can get along without you, and guess what? The world survives! And everything is OK when you get back. Sure, there is some pile up, but its manageable.

That’s why I created Yosemite Summit. Because first and foremost I need it. It’s for me. I know that sounds selfish, but it is the truth. But it’s so good and I need it so much, I decided NOT to be selfish about it, and decided I’d invite just a few guys to come with me. First of all, because part of me wishes someone had invited me to something like this a long time ago when I didn’t know I needed it. But mostly because its just too amazing a time to keep to myself.

I hope you will create your own Summit. Don’t wait until you are ready. You never will be. Just put it on the calendar, and promise yourself you won’t cancel it no matter what happens. And when the time comes, just go. Pick a place you love. Invite some others to go with you. And just do it. You know you need it. Freeze the world for a few days. Honestly, we’ll be fine without you. And we might like you better when you get back.

This will be my last blog post until June. Until then… try to survive!

CHECK OUT THE GUYS I’VE SHARED THIS EXPERIENCE WITH THE PAST THREE YEARS AND CLICK ON THE PICTURE FOR A REPORT, HIGHLIGHT PHOTOS AND VIDEO:

2008

2009:

2010:

2011: UPDATED:

Will you be in the 2012 picture?

On Kidology.org right now there is a discussion right now titled Alternative Names for Volunteers, and folks are discussing what we can call those who staff our kids ministry besides “Volunteers” because that word can often not capture the commitment we are seeking to have. The word “worker” came up, and it reminded me of something funny from my college days.

Me and Gus on a PCM

As a Moody Bible Institute student, I always got a kick out of the evolution of the weekly volunteer “PCM” requirement. It stood for Practical Christian Ministry assignment. My ‘kick’ wasn’t that it was a bad thing or required, while lots of students complained, I loved it and learned a lot as they required a wide variety of assignments over the course of your college experience.

What I thought was a little funny was that when my parents attended MBI in the 60’s it was a PCW assignment: Practical Christian Work assignment. Over the years Moody dropped the unattractive word ‘work’ for the more appealing ‘ministry.’ Now, I could just as easily defend the change and see the benefits of the word “ministry” over “work, BUT we ARE called to WORK for the Lord!

I just think we sometimes soften too much what we expect of volunteers and the way many students treated their PCMs, perhaps Moody should consider returning to calling them PCWs. (Though the student might revolt! LOL)

Maybe WE need to call volunteers to WORK in the children’s ministry too?

Just a thought.

What do YOU think? Comment below, or in the forum.

Practical Christian Dating at MBI

]]> http://kidologist.com/2011/04/21/help-wanted-workers-or-volunteers/feed/ 0 http://kidologist.com/2011/04/16/the-30-percent-rule/ http://kidologist.com/2011/04/16/the-30-percent-rule/#comments Sat, 16 Apr 2011 19:03:48 +0000 kidologist http://kidologist.com/?p=3918

Christine Yount

I loved Christine Yount’s “from the editor” in the latest edition of CM Magazine.

She admits, as we all would (or should!) – those unsettling moments when we feel out of control when everything isn’t going the way we think they should.

No matter how hard to try, there are constant crisis’ and struggles and things going wrong in our life and work… and we just can’t seem to get a handle on things.

It can be really frustrating. We have to look like we have it together for our staff and volunteers, so we let it out finally leak out to our spouses. (My poor wife!) Which Christine says she did on a walk with her husband, who gave her the following advice:

“You need to understand that one-third is going to be icky – and just accept it.”

Too often we focus on what we CAN’T CONTROL, instead of on what we CAN.

We can spend a lot of time complaining to our spouse about what we can’t change – instead of making changes we CAN make, or pursuing excellence in the areas we CAN control.

What can you change?

What do you need to change?

What are you afraid to change?

What are you waiting for?

“So if you, like me, get frustrated when things don’t go the way you want them to, embrace the 30-percent rule and consider what you can and cannot change…” – Christine Yount

Anyway – Along with my wife and some youth I brought from my church, we were proving children’s programming for TEN DAYS while the parents were in sessions over in the “Big Tent.” We did full scale Kids Church-like lessons, game times, crafts, and so much more. As I always do whether I’m doing Kid’s Church, speaking at camp, or writing curriculum, I provide more than asked and try to make it the best I possibly can for the kids sake. I believe in making memories for kids – spiritual anchors that will last a life time. It’s always been my passion and philosophy that we aren’t just teachers – we are making spiritual Ebeneezers – reminders for the future of what God did in the past in kids minds – that’s why we should go ‘over the top,’ whey they stray from the faith – they can mentally (and spiritually) see these Ebeneezers and be led back!

Where am I going with this? At the end of this week, just a few years into being married, and a young children’s pastor at the beginning of my budding career,  Scottie May – a woman I looked up to as an expert and guru in kids ministry gave me a letter along with my pay check. It has been thumb tacked to the wall by my desk for over 15 years – from ministry to ministry, I have cherished it! I usually just get a check in an envelop, but she went the extra mile to write me a letter! It has faded and gotten worn with holes and folds, but it is still special to me.

She Wrote:

Dear Karl, Sara and Troop:

WOW!  You guys are phantasmagorical (I think that means unbelievable.) You amazed me with your organization, energy, efficiency, and execution.  Parents loved you.  Kids love you.  My cousin’s family had to stay overnight because her children cried when she said they’d be leaving this afternoon before your final session.

Thanks for going above and beyond the call of duty to show the love of our Lord to these kids.

May each of you be refreshed and renewed as you travel home tomorrow.  I know that God is pleased because you have been faithful and what you did was well done.

I’ll be praying with and for you about returning to minister again next year.

In awe of Him,

Scottie May

I don’t share this letter after all these years to brag or pat myself on the back – or I’d have shared it many years ago! But to tell you what an IMPACT this letter had on me as a children’s pastor of only three years! “phantasmagorical” ?!?! I had no idea what that meant! But it sounded good! I wanted to BE a phantasmagorical children’s pastor! I wanted to live up to how she described me! I wanted not just the kids to love me, (that was easy), but the parents too! I wanted parents to not be able to leave because kids had to hear my last lesson! I would always be known for “going above and beyond the call of duty” because anyone can do what is asked of them. And she caught why, it showed my love for these kids. And ultimately, I wanted the Lord to be pleased, and if I pleased the people I was serving, then there was a good chance, God would be pleased too. And being asked back – is always the best compliment you can get. (And I was asked back again!)

So I ask you…

• WHO encouraged YOU like this when you were starting out?
• WHO have YOU encouraged? Write them a note! (NOT an e-mail, a real hand written note on that flat white stuff called paper!) You never know, they may cherish and save it for years to come.

And Scottie, should you happen to read this – THANK YOU for believing in me and giving me a chance when I was just starting out and hardly knew what I was doing. I needed those opportunities early one to live and learn and love on kids! I am today what I am because of leaders like you and Mary Kay Meeker, Chris Yount, Byron Ragains, Linda Connell and so many others who gave me a chance before I had “made a name” for myself. You took a risk on a young guy who just seemed to be nuts about ministry to kids.

THANKS for encouraging ME! May many others do the same for others like me!

]]> http://kidologist.com/2011/04/01/the-power-of-encouragement/feed/ 1 http://kidologist.com/2011/03/25/leadership-lesson-from-mushing/ http://kidologist.com/2011/03/25/leadership-lesson-from-mushing/#comments Fri, 25 Mar 2011 18:00:29 +0000 kidologist http://kidologist.com/?p=3832 Today was a VERY exciting day for my little boy! For he got to go MUSHING!

It was an exciting day for ME, because I got to drive my family on a sled across the snowly plains with mountains on all sides of me! What a thrill it was indeed!

Luke got to see some dogs, which he LOVES but can’t own due to daddy’s alergies (and no e-mails about allergy-proof dogs, we aren’t going there, been there, tried that!)

Here’s proof that I LIKED the dogs, just ain’t gonna OWN one!

But mushing was a BLAST! And being on the sled with my wife and son inside was a really cool feeling! (Quite literally too)

I realize those dogs were in more control than me – but I since another guest DID wipe out (woman driver, ha!) there was some steering to it! And I was the only one that got to do some downhill driving, though it was mostly level the whole way.

We never got over 15 MPH, but it was very windy and snowing, so not sure I’d want to go faster…. nah… I wish I could have, just not with the family on board!

But how could there be a Leadership Lesson in my day of Mushing? Could there BE any lesson on Leadership from my day Mushing? I think so. These dogs have done this run a thousand times. A few of them have run the Iditarod in Alaska. Some as competitors, others as medical dogs. I’m merely a tourist who gets to feel like I’m doing the real thing here. The reality is, I’m just along for a ride. But they humor me and my family. (For a buck.) But they know the trail and run it well, really just for fun! What they ran with me today is really quite easy for them compared to what they are actually capable of, I’m sure!

Sometimes in life and leadership we get to thinking we are pretty hot stuff (or cold stuff in this case) but the reality is, we are just following a path that has been laid out for us ahead of time. Either by others who went before us, or – if not – by God Himself, who determined that He wanted us to do what we are doing, He chose us, gifted us, and prepared for us the very things we are doing. And while we might think it’s pretty impressive all we are doing, it’s actually a piece of cake for God compared to what He is capable of!

I Corinthians 4:7 is a verse my dad made me memorize as a young boy, “For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?” He saw that God had given me some gifts that would lead to a certain level of success in life, and wanted to make sure early on I never thought for a moment it had anything to do with me – but that I would always know, I was just riding a sled being pulled by God.

And if I ever got off that path, I’d end up looking like this:

Yup. That’s me. I did go off the trail to see just how deep the snow was, and it IS deep! Luke said later, “I didn’t like when you did that daddy, I thought you were going to sink and I’d have no more daddy!”

I think I’d better stay on the path for my son’s sake!

Got some Kingdom Building Plans?

Out of deep and sincere devotion to God we can make great effort to work for God, to assist Him in building the Kingdom, but our efforts are like a little boy with a toy hammer banging on the side of a sky scrapper. We may feel really powerful and important, but our efforts are silliness compared what God is doing and has already done. And to think that we can DO anything, is so wrong.

“The men and women He is going to use in His mighty building enterprises are those in whom He has done everything.”

The moment we look at something we have done, is the moment it is no longer a part of what God is doing.

“The only men and women He will use in His building enterprises are those who love Him personally, passionately and devotedly beyond any of the closest ties on earth. The conditions are stern, but they are glorious.”

We talk much of vision, and goals, and objectives (I’ve got published articles all about them!) but the spiritual reality is that GOD alone does the aiming, and we are the mere arrow in His bow. Our work is to chose to remain in the bow (our situation) and in the Hands of God (our Master Archer) while the bow is bending.

“A saint’s life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the said says – “I cannot stand any more.” God does not heed, He goes on stretching till his purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God’s hands.”

Our aim ought not be ministry, but fellowship with God, and HE will take care of the aiming for us.

“Shipwreck occurs where there is not that mental poise which comes from being established on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the heroic effort of your life; you fling yourself in reckless confidence in God.”

In the midst of ministry, it is extremely difficult to keep our aim and focus on God, because so much of what we are doing, if not everything, is ABOUT God and His work! Being in the midst of ministry is the most dangerous place to be spiritually, because it is nearly impossible to see when our focus gets off God and instead gets onto His work.

“When once we lose sight of God, we begin to be reckless, we cast off certain restrainsts, we cast off praying, we cast off the vision of God in little things, and begin to act on our own initiative.”

If you are in the midst of ministry, STOP for a moment. PAUSE. Set it all aside – and check your walk with God. Nothing you are doing for God matters, if you are not in close fellowship with Him. It won’t matter for anything, and it can cost you the very things you are striving to maintain.

“The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we take this view, life becomes one great romance, a glorious opportuity for seeing marvelous things all the time. God is discipllinging us into this central place of power.”

Are you building a ministry? Or building our fellowship and relationship with God? THAT is the only building that will last, and the one that will build a stronger and longer lasting ministry anyway. So focus your aim and energy on God, not ministry, and the ministry will take care of itself.

Italics are quotes for Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

You see, when I was a McDonald’s employee I heard about this McSpook’s myself. I think I can confess I got to be a McSpook for awhile without killing anyone – since I was honorable discharged over twenty years ago. But let me back up. You might be wondering what the “Six Steps” are and the Bonus Bag Principle are? (If not, I’ll tell you anyway. Back in the day, McDonald’s trained it’s employees in the following Six Steps:

1. Greet the Customer “Welcome to McDonald’s”
2. Take the Order w/ an Up-Sell or Suggestive Sell Up-Sell is if they order fries, “Large size?” or suggesive sell is saying at the end, “Would you like an Apple Pie with that?”
3. Take Their Money
4. Assemble the Order
5. Present the Meal: Bag Principle: Fold the Bag Twice Arches Toward the Customer
6. Thank Them and Ask them to Come Again

I have learned that they have sinced dropped the “Up-Sell” or “Suggestive Sell” – at least requiring it of their employees. Which I think is a mistake. For my economics class in high school, I got permission from my manager to do an experiment for a week and do it alternatively only with every other customer for a week and the results affirmed that the success of this principle had a dramatic impact on sales. Over 70% of customers responded to the Up-sell or suggestion and took my suggestion! (Or was it just my Jedi Mind Control?) Perhaps in this economy they should bring it back!

When did I become a McSpook? Way back when the McKid’s stores launched, I was hired as the McKid’s Store Magician – and would go to the mall, walk around with a puppet promoting the in-store show and then do a magic show. It was a lot of fun. They had a nice set up for a show with seating around a giant TV screen they had set up for entertainment in the store normally while moms shopped. It was primarily a McClothing store. Unfortunately the brand failed. Hopefully it wasn’t my fault! Anyway, part of my gig was that when I was on the road, I could eat at any McDonald’s and “spy” the location – turn in a report and get reimbursed for my meal. I could be a difficult customer even and report on how they responded. Change my order, order unusual things, or ask for odd combinations. But mostly, I just checked if it was clean, courteous and followed the corporate expectations. Though usually my trend coat and shades tipped them off. (J/K!) It was fun to be a spy, while it lasted!

The fun ending to this encounter was that this employee asked me, “What do you do now?” Wanting to inspire her, I said, “I now run my own business – so keep doing those steps and someday you’ll be writing the steps.” She smiled and said, “I will!”

The Point? Standards work, they get results, and they create leaders. And when you’ve walked a path – don’t forget to encourage those who are behind you on the same path so they see the path is worth staying on. In other words, don’t be ashamed of the fact you once worked at McDonald’s. It was good training!

Let me invite you to my ALL DAY Kidology Training!

I’m looking forward to spending an entire day in sunny San Diego with a select group of folks talking about children’s ministry and enjoying some sweet fellowship.

It will be a fun intimate setting with great practical training!

• GET MORE INFO!
• REGISTER NOW!
• TWEET IT: http://tinyurl.com/regCPC2011
• TWEET IT: http://tinyurl.com/cpc11sdprecon
  

I both love social media and fear it. I can’t attack it too much or I’d be a hypocrite I have over 10,000 “tweets” so far, and nearing 1000 friends on Facebook, but why do I still feel so lonely? Social networking is a part of my daily – O.K., let’s be honest, moment by moment, life! I do not, not, think it is an addiction or bad for me! (I could quit any time I wanted to, right? I just don’t want to!)

Quite to the contrary, it has given me yet another avenue to amplify the message God has given me to share. Unlike many who live their lives like a pin-ball game bouncing through life from one opportunity to another with no clear game plan, I sought God for a very specific Life Mission at age nineteen and have had a laser focus on that Mission ever since. It is written and defined and has enabled me to say “no” to many good things and focus on the Great my entire life and ministry (not that I haven’t gotten distracted and needed to get back on course at times!).

Social Networking has enabled me to expand this Mission into spheres that otherwise I could have never reached, and on a daily basis during idle moments that other wise could have been wasted… Relaxing? Reading? Enjoying my family or praying or… There I go again… the internal struggle erupts! But would I truly be doing those noble things every time I tweeted or updated by Facebook status? The simple answer is no. Social networking has enriched my life with friendships I would have never made until heaven! Now heaven will be a grand Tweet-Up!

But enter children into the conversation, and the conversation shifts. Is it good for them? Unfortunately, folks, there is an element of surrender here. Frankly, we can’t stem this tide – only steer it. Let’s look at it from a different or historical angle. How many teenagers DIE annually driving cars? Do we ban them from driving? Perhaps we should! Unfortunately, that will never happen. You, like them, were destined to drive. My preschooler is already talking about when he will get to drive. In fact, all he wanted for his fifth birthday last month was a REAL Jeep. So we rented one for a day and I taught him how to control the wiper blades and turn signals and let him sit on my lap and steer around the block. My own dad understood both the dangers of driving and the inevitability that the son he loved would soon be on the road without him. Once of the best things he did was take me out and teach me, not only how to drive, but how to slide and spin and control a skid. He had me memorize, “When you are spinning, you are not out of control, you have only lost the ability to stop.” This saved my life years later when my wife and I spun out of control on the highway in winter on the highway. As we crossed the center line spinning with a semi-truck plowing toward us and cars spinning in all directions off the road I yelled at my wife, “I AM NOT OUT OF CONTROL! I HAVE ONLY LOST THE ABILITY TO STOP!” And I control spun the vehicle in front of and around the semi, and back to the correct side of the highway, all while spinning. While God had a lot to do with it, for sure – my dad had trained me for this event, and saved our lives.

The point? Today kids are driving Social Media! We cannot prevent it. We would be fools to think we could stop it. They are in the drivers seat. But we can, and MUST prepare them for the spins and wipe outs ahead. They will listen to our wisdom and advice, and we can give them the guidance and protections they need to keep them safe. We can teach them to put it down. We can give them limits. We can help them find balance and foster real relationships outside of 140 characters and digits and keyboards. We can show them sunshine and go for walks and plan outings and plan in-person socials. We can help them stay real and remind them that we care and make sure they know they don’t need to turn to anonymous sources when they need companionship, counsel or help.
- Karl Bastian, Founder of Kidology.org

This is my portion of a complete Kidology Report featuring several authors. Download the entire report and then add your own input in the Kidology Forum.

You can also WIN A FREE BOOK by Jim Weidmann of Heritage Builders just by adding your comments in the discussion forum. So let me know your thoughts on Kids and Social Media. Details in the forum discussion thread.

The full report is HERE and the discussion is HERE. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the topic!

What are my secrets for connecting with kids? How can you make your classroom one that kids will talk about years from now… and tell their kids about? How do share the Gospel with kids in more creative and effective ways? And how can you Unleash your own creativity?

Take your own personal ministry technique up several notches in 2011!

ON MARCH 15th, 2011 - you can spend an entire day with me in San Diego at the Town and Country Resort in a very informal learning environment as I takes you on a learning journey through my four favorite training sessions!

The cost is only $69 and I can tell you that I will make it well worth your investment with the resources you will receive that day! (I am under-promising and will over deliver!) This is a MUST-ATTEND EVENT you do NOT want to miss!

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE?

I’ll be doing a PRE-CONFERENCE as part of the Children’s Pastor’s Conference – BUT – you do not need to attend CPC to be a part of this ONE DAY KIDOLOGY TRAINING! Of course, I highly recommend CPC, but if you can only come for one day – or just want to come for a day of Kidology Training – then THIS IS YOUR CHANCE to come learn from the Kidologist!

“This is your chance to spend a day learning from Karl – asking questions, enjoying fellowship, and hanging out with other Kidology users – learning from the creator of Kidology.org, ToyBoxTales.com, and DiscipleTown and hearing his heart for relational, creative, Christ-centered ministry. It’s a day that can change your ministry!” – Kidology.org

Learn More On Kidology.org | Register on INCM.org (San Diego CPC Only!)

Here is an OVERVIEW of the day:

Kidology: His Message Through You to Their World

Kidology is the study of kids! The Apostle Paul said he became all things to all men so that they might be reached. Pastor Karl Bastian, aka “The Kidologist” entered children’s ministry at age 10 and has been equipping adults for over thirty years on how to approach ministry from the perspective of a child and from within their culture. His unique approach is highly creative, super effective, causes discipline problems to vanish and results to soar – and yet is easy and fun. Come learn the secrets of the Kidologist that will transform your ministry.

Kidology 101: Relational Ministry – 9:00 a.m.

The aim of this workshop is to challenge and equip adults to engage in relational ministry through a working knowledge of the culture of kids. Learn how to get into the world of kids and make connections with kids in ways that are both fun and engaging. You’ll be inspired and equipped to teach in new and surprising ways that may just transform your teaching ministry.

Refreshment Break -  10:30 a.m.

Kidology 202: Making Your Class Rock – 10:45 a.m.

“You Rock!” is one of the highest compliments a child can give a teacher. What makes some classrooms more exciting and effective than others? Why are some teachers remembered into adulthood when most are quickly forgotten? What can set YOUR class apart from all the rest? Rock your class and rock a kid’s world!

Lunch - 12:00 p.m.

Kidology 303: Unleashing Your Own Creativity  – 1:00 p.m.

Think you aren’t creative? Discover the secrets of creativity, and learn how to come up with super creative ideas for games, skits, stories, skits and more, from ANY passage of scripture – instantly! You’ll be amazed at what YOU can do by the end of this session!

Kidology 404: Leading Kids to Christ – 1:45 p.m.

At the end of the day, the most important aspect of our ministry is leading kids to Christ! So we will end our day learning some practical skills for this most important aspect of our ministry. Not only will you learn some new Gospel presentations, you will be equipped to make sure that you are doing the best.

Dismissal - 3:00 p.m.

So sign up today!

In January 2007, I presented ten trends I predicted would characterize children’s ministry in the years ahead. As we approach January 2011 and I review those, it is interesting to consider which of those have trends still resonate as hot trends, which are assumed or fading, and which I wish were of greater emphasis as I scan articles, workshop descriptions of conferences or forum discussions of various websites.

Whenever I am asked to write or speak on the “future” I often start with one of my favorite quotes, which always goes off better verbally…

“I’m not a prophet, nor the son of prophet. In fact, I work for a non-profit organization.”

The reality is, I’m always faced with a very real dilemma. Do I respond with my Predicted Future, or my Preferred Future? Because in many ways, unfortunately, they are very different when I look over the children’s ministry landscape today. I often feel as though I am both fighting against the advance of the kidmin culture as well as contributing to it. On one hand, I’ve been a significant influencer of children’s ministry over the years, and on the other hand, I often find myself trying to push against the goads and challenging the status quo. As I’m about to do.

My answer to the question, “What is the Future of Children’s Ministry?” is going to be to answer it twice. First, I will give you my Predicted Future and then my Preferred Future. Which describes your future will depend on whether you are a leader who is interested in numbers or disciple-making. It will depend on whether you want to wow kids and parents or whether you want children who will walk with Jesus through high school and into their adult lives.

The stats are in. Despite all the modern advances of children’s ministry, youth pastor’s can tell us, if we will listen, we aren’t doing them any favors with our million dollar facilities and fancy curriculum and edutainment and mini-youth groups. Their job hasn’t gotten much easier. And blaming families isn’t the answer either. While supporting families is critically important, in our culture, less and less children are in healthy Christian families, so there will only be a growing need for strong children’s ministries to reach them. So let’s take a look at two possible futures and then make a choice.

My Predicted Future

The demise of the children’s pastor and children’s ministry. Both have been usurped and swallowed by family ministry. Misunderstanding the distinct difference between children’s ministry and family ministry, churches opt to roll the children’s ministry into family ministry. Rather than embracing family ministry as a church-wide responsibility that should coordinate with and work in concert with children’s ministry, it is seen as the solution and biblical mandate that renders children’s ministry obsolete. Of course, this happens slowly. First the children’s pastor is replaced. Next, the word “ministry” is dropped from children’s ministry. In time, “children’s programming” becomes part of the family ministry, a disguised name for child care. This is denied emphatically, but the lack of evangelism, discipleship and solid biblical teaching is the proof, those having been all been delegated to parents. Volunteers are no longer trained to study and teach and lead children to a saving faith in Christ. They are trained in safety standards, how to run video equipment, and to foster caring environments and build loving relationships. Worship is emphasized and is central to the experience at church along with highly entertaining programs teaching bible stories and virtues based on biblical principles. All of which are important, but do not fulfill Jesus’ mandate to “Go into all the world and make disciples of all nations.” (Matthew 18:19-20) Processing large groups of children through similar group experiences with as few volunteers as possible will be key. Resources that make volunteering as easy as possible with as little preparation as necessary will be the best selling. And of course, neither children, nor volunteers, will bother bringing their Bibles to church anymore, because they simply are no longer needed in the Lord’s House.

My Preferred Future

The resurgence of the teacher and a return of the student. When was the last time you heard the kids at church referred to as “students?” I would like to envision both the children’s pastor and volunteers studying the Bible during the week. I’d like to see children again memorizing Scripture and completing assignments at home. I see them logging on to a website with their parents to interact with materials the church has provided to help them engage with what the church is teaching their children. I see Dad getting a text message during the week from the children’s pastor with a question he can ask his son about the main point of the week in class and Mom getting an e-mail with ideas of discussion questions the family can use at dinner time about the theme of the month from the family pastor. I see the family ministry and children’s ministry working together, one first being far broader than families with kids – and the latter being far broader than kids with a mom and dad. Where they overlap, there is a lot they do together, but where they don’t, they have learned that merging them leaves too many left neglected. So family ministry reaching far more than a children’s ministry ever could, and children’s ministry reaches more than families ever could. Oh, and on Sundays, the children’s pastor, (this is a role, not necessarily their title) is actually teaching from the Word, with a Bible in hand, and the children are following along in their Bibles, some even underlining, learning to correctly handle the Word of Truth. (2 Timothy 2:15)

Neither of these futures are automatic, nor will either represent every church. But both will exist in some churches. The question is only which is more likely to more closely represent your church?

What the future of children’s ministry needs most for success is a return to an emphasis on the study of and teaching of the Word of God, and less on making ministry easy for volunteers, attractive to families and processing large groups of children through fun environments. That hasn’t produced disciples who will walk with Jesus for life. The future doesn’t need more technology – it needs deeper and better relationships. If technology can foster more connectivity or methods of relating, that is wonderful. But “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” (2 Peter 1:3)

Karl Bastian, the Kidologist
www.karlbastian.com

• To Discuss This Article – Visit the Leadership Forum
• Follow on Twitter #FutureOfCM

Greg Baird

Greg has been a long time friend and of mine, as well as one who I have learned from and have recommended to others to learn from. He has been a featured trainer at our Kidology University in Chicago. (see him featured in this crazy YouTube video)

Greg is a sought after authority in children’s ministry and shares my passion for equipping and encouraging those who are “in the trenches” of weekly ministry. Read his complete bio to see why I have asked him to host the Leadership Forum on Kidology.org.

By hosting our Leadership Forum, Greg will be available to provide leadership insights, stimulating discussion, help answer questions YOU post and keep Kidology folks aware of the exciting things happening at Kidmin360.com, such as…

The timing of Greg’s hosting of the Leadership Forum couldn’t be better! Greg has asked eighteen Kidmin leaders from around the country to write about they they think lies in store for children’s ministry and will be posting their articles in the weeks ahead on his site, and an opportunity to discuss them in the Leadership Forum. When complete, it will be compiled into a PDF book, complete with quotes from the discussion. (Yes, your comments from the forum might make the book!)

Right now, here is the schedule (subject to adjustments)

November
1 – Karl Bastian
3 – Todd McKeever
5 – Larry Shallenberger
8 – Ryan Frank
10 – Dale Hudson
12 – Matt McKee
15 – Matt Guevara
17 – Amy Dolan
19 – Jonathan Cliff
22 – Tina Houser
24 – Tony Kummer
29 – Henry Zonio

December
1 – Mike Johnson
3 – Justyn Smith
6 – Gordon West
8 – Kenny Conley
10 – Rick Chromey
13 – Michael Chanley
15 – Sam Luce

These are the kind of people that Greg brings together! So be looking forward to their thoughts on the future of Kidmin – and be prepared to discuss YOUR thoughts and interactions on what they wrote in the Leadership Forum with Greg Baird on Kidology.org

Work Expands to Fill the Time Allows

This is one of Barney Kinard’s “Coach’s Conundrums,” or what he calls one of his collection of pithy principles that need some explanation. As he often says to his Protégés (as he calls his students), implementing of his conundrums could alter your paradigm for children’s ministry or influence the way you approach kids.

I want to share this one with you – because it is one that when he shared it with me years ago, it hit be so hard between the eyes, it about knocked me over!

Karl & Barney (In our pre-Mac days!)

Not only is Barney a long time friend, he is one of our Kidology Coaches, who offers weekly coaching calls to his students as part of Kidology’s personal one-to-one personal curriculum based mentoring program. Every Monday, he faithful sends out his Coach’s Huddle, an e-mail LOADED with updates, insights, encouragements, pithy wisdom, fun puns, updates on his students, and bonus coaching materials exclusively for his students. It is truly a treasure of knowledge his students are blessed to get (and I’m lucky to be CCed on) every Monday.

I’m taking the liberty to post his Coach’s Conundrum on “Work expands to fill the time allowed” knowing that Barney will not mind!

Here is how he explains it:

This is something that continues to impress me, I find that time pressure is the motivational trigger that compresses the time a project needs for completion. The extremes do occur, too much time and too little time, but for this conundrum to work, we determine the pace to finish on time, mostly. The constant variable is “when does it have to be done?” The answer becomes “the pace of the race” for the finish line. If there is a time to beat, a drop dead goal to complete, the task, somehow, is better done, than if it would be either postponed, set aside or put on the shelf. To put anything “inactive,” is like stopping. However, harnessing the task with time frames is like testing the limits of the stretched rubber band. Our “one-step” method is an overt effort to stop this “all-or-nothing” orientation to work by breaking it down into “doable parts,” matched with a reasonable time table for completion, done, done well and on time.

Let me share with you – how this “Work expands to the time allowed” principle impacted me.

As the founder of the Kidology University conference – Kidology.org put on 15* different Kid U conferences over a period of ten years while I was on staff at the Village Church of Barrington, finally culminating with our 10th anniversary event in 2008. (download that brochure)

Barney was at many of those Kid U’s and at all of the first 3-4 of them, and every year, I was at the church late – and I mean late – up until 2-3a.m. doing last minute details to make the event just right. Each year, trying not to be up so late, I started earlier, and planned better, and delegated better, and yet still I would be there until 2-3a.m. doing last minute things to make the event just perfect for those who would be coming by 8a.m. the following morning. Barney, being a good friend, was always at my side, helping me with those last minute details and ideas.

Finally on the 3rd or 4th year (I forget which), I commented to Barney, “I don’t get it. Every year, I start earlier, I plan better, I delegate better, I have more help, more employees, and yet here I  am, working late the night before. I just don’t seem to be able to go home at a decent hour.”

And that was when he kindly said those magic words, having never complained about being there so late with me, he just said,

“Well, Karl, it would seem to me, that the work expands to fill the time allowed.”

You see, because I was WILLING to work until 2-3a.m. the night before the event – because I loved the event that much, and the volunteers and trainers who would be pouring through the doors in the morning… I wouldn’t leave until 3a.m. I would stay there thinking of things to do to make it better!

The work would expand because I had allowed that much time for my work! I wouldn’t be done until 3a.m. no matter how early I started, how much I planned ahead, or how much I delegated!

The following year, I didn’t not allow that time. I planned a dinner for all my staff and volunteers for the night before the event and determined that after than meal, I had to go home and get a night of sleep. The work could no longer expand into the night. I did that from then on. A few times I did need to run back for a few quick things, but I no longer worked the whee hours… the work no longer expanded, for I was out of time.

And it worked, and I was much healthier for it.

It’s a powerful principle. Coaching works. Sometimes a simple sentence can have a powerful impact on years of ministry into the future.

Ministry doesn’t have to be a conundrum.

*Yes, to a few die hard Kidology fans out there, who love to constantly remind me there were previous Kid U’s in the city of Chicago, the “First Kid U” was not the truly the first! I hereby acknowledge that. In defense, when I said 2nd annual Kid U and 3rd and so on, it referred to the second, 3rd and so on annual at VCB. But once we expanded beyond VCB to WI and OH, it was too late to renumber them all to include the pre-VCB Kid U’s. But, yes, you are correct, there were more than 15 Kid U’s, and you, my friends, were at the REAL FIRST KID U in Chicago when I was truly an unknown children’s pastor just equipping and encouraging in the inner city of Chicago. Thank you for your ardent support over the years! You shall be rewarded in heaven for your encouragement to me over the years and for coming to those first humble Kid U’s in that small fellowship hall!

I think it is safe to assume that you are very concerned about the spiritual welfare of the children in your church. If you are a parent, you have your own children in mind as you think about the challenges that they are currently facing and the battles that lie ahead. Perhaps the title “Partnering with Parents” resonates with you as something that is desperately needed in your church. However, it may be a phrase that conjures up feelings of doubt, discouragement or frustration because as much as you know it is needed, you’re not sure how to do it. Perhaps you’ve tried, but nothing seems to be working, at least not as well as you’d like.

First off, I need to confirm that you are right, it’s NOT easy. But I also want you to know that I have discovered a completely different approach to partnering with parents. It is an approach that you may find radical, or you may simply find it a relief.

But it is an approach that enables you to say with confidence, “Yes, we genuinely partner with parents in our ministry.”

Why are children’s ministry leaders clamoring for books on family ministry and packing out workshops on “partnering with parents?” Because they are coming to the realization that the church is failing to produce children who are fully devoted disciples of Jesus Christ. Even a casual look at our youth groups, often filled with kids who grew up in the church, our hearts break to hear about the language, drinking, drug use, immorality and general abandonment of core Christian values and beliefs.

In his latest book, Raising a Modern-Day Joseph, Larry Fowler presents three sobering realities facing the church, and the parents who drop them off.

Declining Commitment

Christian young people are leaving the church and the faith of their parents as they leave home for college and work. Christian researcher, George Barna, reports that “the most potent data regarding disengagement (of youth from their faith) is that a majority of twentysomethings – 61% of today’s young adults – had been churched at one point during their teen years but they are now spiritually unengaged.”

Unbiblical Worldviews

Christian young people are not transferring the biblical knowledge they have into a biblical worldview. Christian apologist and researcher Josh McDowell claims that between 69 and 94 percent of teenagers leave the church after high school. He also reports that only 15% of Christian young people have a biblical world view. George Barna says it is only 10%.

Declining Bible Knowledge

Christian young people don’t know nearly as much about the Bible as they used to.

Christian Smith, principal investigator of the National Study of Youth and Religion states that

“Most U.S. teens have a difficult time explaining what they believe, what it means, and what the implications of their beliefs are for their lives.”

How can this be? (!) Not so many decades ago “children’s ministry” hardly existed. “Children’s Pastors” are relatively new on the church staff scene. As Linda Massey Weddle points out in her book, Driveway to the Highway, most churches now provide fully staffed nurseries, Sunday School, children’s church, mid-week and after school programs, and much more! Children’s Ministry curriculum is more entertaining, colorful and professional looking than ever before. Publishing houses have flooded the market with “Christian” books, toys, resources and more. Radio stations play Christian music and messages twenty-four hours a day. Why is it, we wonder, do kids walk away from the faith of their parents and church when we have all these “advantages” in the church in America?

Church leaders look at statistics and are concerned. (They ought to be alarmed!) Parents, on the other hand, often don’t need stats. They are concerned, and often alarmed, simply by what they see in their own home or in the homes of their kids’ friends and classmates. There is little doubt the church is doing its best – sincerity and effort are not in question – but the results are coming in, and it’s not looking good. Parents are also doing the best they know how, and are feeling the sense of failure more personally, for it is their own children, whom they deeply love, that who they are watching fall away – or are afraid might.

George Barna, in his book Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions, confirmed through scientific research what children’s leaders have long undertood – Christian education during childhood is the most critical of a person’s entire life, as it will most likely determine what they believe their entire life! Children’s ministry leaders and parents who are awake see the dangers and the spiritual casualties and are desperate for change. It is more critical than ever that the church and parents start partnering to do a better job of preparing children for a life of faith in a world that is ever increasingly seeking to mislead and destroy them.

We have a choice. Keep doing what we are doing or step back and take a serious look at how we can do a better job.

That is why I took a completely new and radical approach to “partnering with parents” – but you know what? it worked.

You can learn about it in my Leadership Lab, “Partnering with Parents.” Be prepared for a totally different way of thinking about partnering with parents. But be prepared for results too.

He had driven up to meet me asking to pick up in person the Moody Bible Institute reference I had written for him.

Noah and Karl, circa mid 1990's

Noah was one of my “krew kids,” all grown up and heading to Bible college to prepare for a life of ministry. I was bursting with pride. Mostly godly, but some fleshy too. I couldn’t help it. I had taken this boy under my wing when others hadn’t seen the potential I could recognize. I saw only myself as a boy. We enjoyed our meal, caught up on the years we’d been apart and finally, I had to ask, “So what made you decide to go to Moody and go into children’s ministry?” Instead of answering, he did something that will always be a lifetime memory, and I’ll admit the pride burst a little more. He simply pointed at me.

Of course, the glory goes to God. But all those K.C. Krew meetings, all the late nights getting ready, all the puppet rehearsals yelling, “higher, louder, slower!” All the pepperoni pizza, all the overnighters and all the times I laid on the floor exhausted for thirty minutes after the krew kids had left, was worth it.

He pointed at me. He was going to Bible college and giving his life to Christian service. No, he wasn’t my disciple, he was Jesus’ disciple. But I was who he could see. I had recruited him, believed in him, inspired him, trained him, and showed him a path that was outside the normal path of his family and experience. A path he otherwise most likely would not now be on. He pointed at me. I, in turn, point to Jesus. But that is the impact of empowering kids into service. It changes the very direction of their life.

(Can you spot Noah in this post?)

I am currently writing The Kids Church Cookbook – Part 6, on the K.C. Krew, and I can’t wait to release it. Of all the workshops I’ve ever taught, whenever I speak on this, people come back to me 5, even 10 years later, and say this is the topic that has had the most impact on their ministry. It not only changes kids, it changes churches and pastors. It is what discipleship is all about.

I received the following e-mail recently, and it’s a question and request I get often. I wanted to post my answer to her here so that it might encourage others as well. As I know her struggle is not an uncommon one.

Karl, I need your help. I want to be in paid ministry and I have been volunteering and the church I am working with says “we can’t believe you don’t have a job yet…you are perfect for this.” I am frustrated because ministering to kids and helping them discover the wonderful truths of the Bible is my passion. “Here I am! Send me!”

If I get back responses from my resume, I hear mostly that I don’t have enough experience. I do have quite a bit of volunteer experience and did my internship with a children’s minister, but the necessity for me to have a full time job now to support my daughter and I makes it difficult for me to put in another 20 hours a week at a church volunteering as a CM. So how do I both support my family AND get more experience?

I am seeing walls up everywhere I turn and am curious if you could punch a few holes through for me.

I hear you and I feel your frustration. How are you supposed to get experience, if no one will give you the opportunity to GET experience by taking a chance with you? It’s the age-old challenge – people want someone with experience, but how do you get experience if no one will hire you?

There is no easy answer, but part of the answer is to trust God and, listen to Him, and keep at it. Look for a church that isn’t as picky. Churches that can be picky usually DO need someone with experience as the job is larger and therefore harder. Smaller ministries that aren’t as picky, often are easier and better places to learn anyway. It may be that you’ll need to do something else while volunteering for a while to gain some experience, or work part time at a church that has less requirements while working part time somewhere else. I know that’s tough, but it is a start.

In the end, take it to God, and be willing to follow the leads and opportunities He opens up for you. They may not be what you want early on, but if you are faithful, available and teachable – in time, they will lead you to what you desire. You know Prov. 3:5-6 and Proverbs 16:9 and Psalm 37:4 – now is the time to lean on those and LIVE those, and watch what God does.

I know those words are easier said than lived, but I’m one who has lived them. I’ve had the children’s pastor job at the big church with the big budget and tons of resources and volunteers but it wasn’t until after I was willing to work in the inner city with nothing, where if I wanted something, it came out of my own pocket – and in a youth center next to a bar cleaning up all the broken beer bottles before the kids got there and doing it without thinking ‘I’m better than this’, or my talents aren’t being used to their full potential. I was just being content where God had me, and God honored that by in time opening up doors to larger spheres of influence and opportunity. I fully realize that some never leave those small unknown places of ministry – and their reward may be greater because of it.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is – I’m not the one who can punch some holes through for you – God is, He has all the connections you need. And I hope you will let me know the end of the story someday when you are in the ministry of your dreams, because I believe you will be someday!