Dreary Day… until you look closely.
Today was one of the hardest days of my life. For the first time in over 18 years I didn’t kick off a new season of Kid’s Church. To make it worse… of course, it rained. The bleary view out my back patio door. Change is difficult. I suppose I should feel some relief from my former hyperbusy hyperacheiver hyperactive hyperministry hyperspeed pace of life… and in many ways I do. But I still miss painfully the things I loved most… and have deep regrets that are still healing. I prayed for one phone call today from one person who might realize what today was and meant to me… but instead, God must have wanted me to feel the emptiness and loneliness of loss. My head understands and is accepting, but my heart is still catching up and has quite a ways to go. One day at a time. One relationship at a time. One prayer at a time. I’ve not allowed myself much time to focus on what these changes in life have cost me – selfishness got me into the mess I got myself into – so I don’t feel entitled to focus on my own losses, but…