This is part of a series called 24 Days of Thankfulness. These posts are in RANDOM order, NOT priority order. Each is something I am thankful for leading up to Thanksgiving.
DAY #18: My Dad
While there may be some sons out there who have had the honor of having their dad appear on the cover of TIME magazine or some other newspaper or periodical, I must say that I can say, as the son of a preacher man, I was the proudest (in the most Godly way, of course) when MY dad made the cover of a magazine that I think says it all. You can have your TIME magazine “Man of Year” or People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” titles. In 1996 MY DAD made the COVER of a magazine whose bi-line is:
“A Wise Person Displays Understanding By His Godly Life as Gentle Servant.”
There is probably no better description of my dad, so posting the cover of the magazine cover my dad was on was the best way I could think to “toot his horn” today, though it will embarrass him. Such is his character, for he made the cover of SERVANT magazine:
Humble Servant, Doug Bastian
That’s my dad. (Click to enlarge the cover in a new window)
I’m thankful to him for so many reasons, I should probably write a book about it someday, all the wisdom he has given me. As I’ve often said, he is a great dad not for being perfect, but for being real. There are no perfect dads. The best dads are not the perfect dads, but the ones who don’t pretend to me. Kids figure out early on that dads aren’t perfect, and think they have something on dad when they figure that out! But when dad blows their own cover by admitting their own humanness, and admitting they are on a journey in life, and inviting their children to walk with them on the journey of parenting and walking with Christ… the impact is trans-formative. Not only in parenting, but in the life of the child.
Mac and PC
I posted A Tribute to My Dad in the past, with lots of fun pictures of us from a long time ago, so I won’t post those pictures again or get too wordy again. This time, I justed to say THANKS to my dad for not telling me what it meant to be a servant in the home and in my ministry, but showing me. In fact, I don’t think he ever did actually tell me. He just lived it, and it just rubs off. And when I heard it preached later I thought, “Oh, that’s my dad.”
I’ve said it a thousand times,
“Discipling your kids isn’t something you ought to do… it is something you are doing.”
Your kids become you! My dad often quoted to me I Cor. 11:1, where Paul said to Timothy, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” In other words, where I saw my dad being like Christ, he wanted me to be like him, and when I saw him not being like Christ, he hoped I would have the objectivity to not imitate him in those times. I hope the same for my son. But for better or for worse, more and more, I am becoming my dad. It’s a scary thought some times (!), but over all, it’s a good thing. And that’s why I’m thankful for his example.
This is part of a series called 24 Days of Thankfulness. These posts are in RANDOM order, NOT priority order. Each is something I am thankful for leading up to Thanksgiving.
DAY #3: My Mom
It’s hard to believe this Christmas Day will be 15 years since my mom went to meet Jesus. Yes. The day we celebrate “God With Us” – is the day my mom went to be with God. Peacefully, after my little brother gave her permission to go. Though ill with cancer, she had kept her humor and loving gift of encouragement. My favorite inheritance is the boxes of cards of and letters from all over the world of lives she touched.
Me and My Mom
Those who have heard me speak, have heard her words through me, even when I wasn’t crediting her. She is a part of me. They have heard the story of my call to ministry – when I said at age ten, “I want to me a children’s evangelist when I grow up,” and she said, “What’s growing up got to do with anything? You start next week,” and the kidologist was born!
I am thankful for a mother who saw past the boundless energy and unbridled creativity that exasperated most – a mother who through exhausted eyes and weary hugs only whispered in my ear, “Watch out world, when this boy learns to focus this creative energy, watch out world.” She gave me hope in my future when others told me to go stand in the corner, if only to get me out of the way. She caused me to believe in myself when others made me stay after school. She taught me there was nothing I could not do, if God was asking me to do it, and if I relied on Him for the strength, vision and ideas to see it through. She told me people would help me if I asked them. And they would follow me, if I followed Jesus. She implored me to make the Bible my guidebook for life.
On her deathbed she told me that God had given her a dream for her life as a young girl that she knew would now be fulfilled in mine instead. Like King David who wanted to build the Temple but had to let his son build it instead, she knew her dream would fulfilled in her children. My life was saved miraculously several times growing up, and those stories had become my bedtime stories… stories of her gratitude for me and of God’s Providence because of His Plan for my life. Stories that inspired me to live for something far more important than myself for as long as He would give me to serve Him.
To live for other children. I became a children’s evangelist when I was only ten because of my mom’s belief in me and her training in children’s ministry. I was her student and I carry on her legacy out of a heart of gratitude. It is why I established a scholarship in her name at Moody Bible Institute (where she and my dad met) for other young students so that long after I am gone and finally reunited with her in heaven, her legacy will continue to enrich and equip the next generation of students who want to reach and teach children for Jesus.
Because, what does growing up have to do with anything?
Today I launched a little Thanksgiving Project over on Kidology.org called “24 Days of Thanks-Giving” – basically I am providing a simpleWord doc you can download and every day from Nov. 1 until Thanksgiving add ONE thing you are thankful for.
It’s really just something I need to DO MYSELF – but I thought maybe others might want to join me, and I’d enjoy reading/seeing what others are thankful for. So you are welcome to use the Word doc, or just post in the forum what YOU are thankful for! So let me begin today, with my first post. These are NOT going to be in priority order, otherwise I’d have to go God, Family, etc. and then later on, people might judge me for putting one thing “above” or “before” another – so right out of the gate let me say, these posts will be in RANDOM ORDER of things I am THANKFUL FOR!
Thanks to winning a boxed set of the Charlie Brown Holiday specials from Steve Tanner at a past Kidology Christmas Party White Elephant gift – Luke is now hooked on “The Great Pumpkin,” and watching it over and over!
He loves the opening scene when Lucy “kills” the pumpkin, so when we stopped on our Daddy/Son day to pick out a “Great Pumpkin” he said, “we must get a big one to kill.”
Here he is ready to begin the slaughter of our very own Great Pumpkin!
The fatal stab is struck and alas, the Gret Pumpkin is dead.
About to open up the pumpkin and see the inside of the head and the “brains!”
Luke thinks the “brains” of the Great Pumpkin are pretty gross! Especially, when I tell him we need to reach in and pull them all out!
But, he does like the smell! LOL
The “brains!” Looking tasty!
Carving “The Great Pumpkin!” Daddy did most of this part, (of course!), but Luke drew what he wanted on the pumpkin with pencil and daddy followed it on the pumpkin pretty closely.
The Great Pumpkin and the Great Kid!
Putting a light inside the Great Pumpkin!
Now it’s time to bake the seeds!
The day ended when Mommy called to say good night and Lukey was able to tell her about our day and introduce her to The Great Pumpkin out on the front porch!
How could my dad give MAGNIFIERS to my sisters?!?!
(Close to what my gift looked like)
It is one thing to talk about something in the abstract. Kids need real stories from real people they know. Have you ever had a bad attitude that cost you something? Too often we give the impression that we have always done everything right and it is only the children we teach who make mistakes. Telling our students real stories of times we have blown it can help encourage them in profound ways.
I remember a time when my dad came home with a gift for all three of his children. To each of my sisters he gave a gift of a different type of magnifying lens. I was in shock! Didn’t my dad know, it was I who collected magnifying glasses?!?!
My older sister got a magnifying sheet the size of a full page of paper! Then my younger sister was given a magnifying ruler. You could place it over what you were reading and as you moved it down the page the words would magically grow as it passed over them.
I was so jealous! How could my father DO this to me? Again, didn’t he understand that it was ME who collected magnifying lens, not my sisters?! They were girls, after all. They needed dolls or something of the sort. I was so caught up in my anger and jealousy and wanting what they had been given that when he handed me an old two inch long cylinder object that I didn’t recognize instead of asking what it was, I just threw it on the ground, breaking it, and yelling, “I don’t want this dumb thing, I want a magnifier!”
My dad simply left the room obviously disappointed in me. Later, after I calmed down enough to ask about the object I had cracked, he explained that what I had thrown down and broken in my anger was actually a very valuable and high powered magnifier he had found at an antique store. In his desire to bring a little treat for my sisters as well, he had stopped at the five and dime store bought them cheap magnifiers so he could have a gift for each of his children.
My impatience and disrespect cost me that precious treasure.
I have kept that broken lens to this day as a reminder that my Father knows me best and delights in giving me what my heart desires if I will just be patience and wait to hear His explanation.
This is from the Connect with Your Kids component of the next DiscipleTown unit I am current writing, How to Show Respect, due out October 20th. I always include a section helping teachers connect their real lives to the lessons they teach, which I believe is critical to being an effective teacher. I enjoyed writing this, and thought you might enjoy this story too.
Brian Haynes, author of the Shift, has a new book coming out titled, “The Legacy Path.” I was honored to get an advance copy and enjoyed reading it. I was also giving the opportunity, as part of a Blog Tour, to ask Brian a few questions, and get his answers.
Here they are:
1. What do you think are the biggest challenges children or family pastors face when attempting to “partner with parents” in raising children to be fully devoted followers of Jesus?
There are several challenges that we face when attempting to partner with parents. One is that parents feel completely inadequate to disciple their own children. Another is the battle for time to equip parents in the busyness of every day life. Maybe most practically is the reality that children’s pastors or family pastors likely have to change the way they work in order to partner with parents. The mindset shift is the change from just creating ministry processes to equip kids verses creating processes that disciple kids and their families when we have access to the parents. It is impossible to do it all, so children’s pastors and family pastors have to learn to focus, equip, delegate, and let go of ministries they once did themselves.
2. Why do you think parents feel so inadequate to disciple their own children?
Parents feel this way generally because they often have not been discipled themselves. They struggle with teaching something they don’t think they completely understand or practice. For parents it would be easier to trust the faith training of their children to the church. Embracing their role as the primary faith trainers means becoming intentional. Many have the question, “What does intentional spiritual parenting look like?” They need a simple plan and a demonstration of that plan in progress to help them overcome their feelings of inadequacy. The truth is that parents are wired for this. When they take even little steps in faith to overcome their fear, God blesses. It’s part of His plan for the Kingdom.
3. How can children’s pastors (or those responsible in a staff role over children in a church) best challenge parents to embrace their role as the primary spiritual leaders of their children without it coming off as a guilt trip or pressure to “do more” on top of their already busy lives?
I think we need to teach a biblical theology of discipleship which includes a lengthy thread of Scripture not limited to Deuteronomy 6:4-9. This teaching, when done in love, may motivate or even convict. Conviction is a good thing. It is the work of the Spirit to bring us back into God’s way of living. At the same time we can avoid being guilt-mongers. I have learned that when I share my fears of messing up the daddy thing or my feeling of inadequacy when it comes to discipling my kids, the people of our ministry really connect. When I tell them specifically how I have messed up they almost breathe a sigh of relief. We have to be real when we talk about this stuff. Don’t pretend you have it all figured out. Use humor when you talk about parenting. Let them into your real life as a parent. I am as busy as the next guy. I let them see my success and my failure with that even as I teach concepts like simplicity and balance. I think it’s all about approach.
4. How do we convince parents that the spiritual develop of their children is not just another area of importance worthy of some attention, but the most important area of their child’s development worthy of the utmost attention with ramifications on every other area of their development? It sounds so dramatic – and yet it is so true. (Assuming you agree with this statement.)
We have to teach them the biblical truth. The words of God speak with authority on the matter in a way mine do not. Since God is the Grand Designer, he has hardwired parents for this task. Most Christian parents intuitively know that faith training is worthy of their attention. I think we convince them fully when we teach them how to be intentional about the faith development of their children in simple, every day ways.
5. Lastly, what is one practical way you have found to encourage parents that they do not need to first get their own act together or become a perfect person/parent before they start to be intentional about leaving a legacy for their kids? Can you share a specific example of a story, object lesson, challenge or illustration you have used to move parents from inaction to motivated action?
I get parents to tell me of a time they looked into their child’s face and saw their own. Sometimes I will ask them to share a funny story of when their child said something and they instantly realized, “That kid sounds just like me.” I have them recall a time disciplining there child either in a positive or negative way when they realized they were practicing discipline just like their parent did whether they wanted to or not. Everyone has a story to illustrate that legacy is built whether intentional or not.
I then say, “If we are building legacy, why don’t we do it with some intentionality.” I like to give them an easy win. I teach them at that point to start praying scriptural blessings over their kids at night before bed or before they walk out the door for school. I even give them the cards with the Scripture on it so it’s easy. Intentional legacy can be that simple.
The Legacy Path is a great follow up for both children’s pastors and even more-so for parents!
Saturday the family headed to the Pikes Peak Radio Control Club’s “Warbird’s Over Pike’s Peak’s Air Show”, and it was incredible! (Don’t miss HIGHLIGHT VIDEO at end of this post!)
NOTE:Click on any image to see larger in a new window.
For Luke, it was a real treat! He brought a box of toy airplanes and enjoying playing with his planes while watching grown men play with their toys. As the saying goes…
The difference between the men and the boys, is just the price of their toys!
It was hard to believe these things were not real! Especially when the jets went straight up into the air spinning until they were a speck in the sky!
They even SOUNDED like real jets… well, actually, there WERE real jets… just smaller and without a real person inside!
They literally flew up to the clouds! I had to use a telephoto lens to keep up with them!
Luke enjoyed chillin’ out on Daddy’s hammock, which I got for Father’s Day way back when he was just a baby… (remember?)
Everyone had their cameras out trying to capture these birds in the coolest pics possible – the pics in this post and in the video below, are from all three of us, me, my dad and his wife Patty.
The planes took turns putting on a show for everyone, and the stunts they did was just like being at a real airshow with real planes!
And getting to walk around and look at them and talk to the pilots was fun too. (That’s my dad and his wife.)
The variety was amazing. They even let us vote on our favorite and there were awards for the pilots in different categories. I felt good when the one I picked won for best design!
One of my favorite features, was the “little pilots” that a lot of controllers put into their planes:
Pretty amazing detail, isn’t it?
It was an incredible day for a young boy. I love taking him to things that show him you never need to grow up. You can pick a hobby and enjoy it into adulthood, whether or not airplanes is what he chooses, you can have fun at any age!
Days like Saturday are days well invested in your kids.
Even if it does make him think his toys are too small!
We can’t wait to get home and fly dad’s little remote control helicopter!
It may not be as cool as these eight to ten foot remote control airplanes that can soar through the air… but it shows my son that growing up is optional, and that is worth a day is the scorching heat.
That’ll teach him, that HE can soar in life, if he is willing to never grow up!
ENJOY THIS HIGHLIGHT VIDEO: *Recommended full screen!
Being the Dad Today is something I am passionate about! I am all to aware that these days are precious and fleeting and I want to make the most of them.
There is an old saying that you can tell what’s important to someone by looking at their date book and their checkbook. Well, I think that saying needs to be updated to the modern world to be, “You can tell what’s important to someone by looking at their iPhone camera roll.”
Just glancing through mine and you can see what I’ve been up to.
We went to the local carnival this week, just Daddy and Boy and had a blast. (Well, my wallet didn’t but that’s a separate issue!)
We also enrolled in Swim Class. I’m not very impressed with the place – I was hoping they were going to push him a little further than Dad has, so far – blowing bubbles in the water is about all they have done… Dad is working on patience as he watches through the glass as they do stuff I’ve done with him for years… hopefully in the next week they’ll teach him something new and I’ll get my money’s worth, BUT at least he is having some fun.
We love to go for walks around the neighborhood. We have gotten to explore a few houses being built – and recently one that is ALL DONE was left unlocked for contractors doing final touches, so we were able to take off our shoes and walk through one we had seen when it was just framed. It was very cool to see it all done when we had seen it in several stages. I just hope we don’t meet the owners and Luke doesn’t say, “We have been in your house a bunch of times!”
We are learning the bike right now, and if we miss a day of evening bike rides (with Dad actually walking along side) Luke is disappointed. I have plans for a whole article comparing learning a bike to launching a new children’s ministry as I have thought of many parallels during this process. But it has been a very neat process to watch him overcome his fear from an early negative experience that had put off the bike to his growing skill and confidence. He is now eager for the time when the training wheels will come off.
And meals out with Dad are always a treat. Watching cars, airplanes and people are fun. He is so observant. And I marvel at his tender spirit, curious mind, and polite nature.
This week, I’ll be my sons coach and the Bible Story teacher for our sports camp at church – looking forward to that a lot.
But the best is always bedtime… the stories… the cuddling… the hiding from mom to delay the inevitable… the serious talks… the hiding in the closet and coming out with a new ‘monster’ costume on… last night I came out dressed as Mega Man! And then, of course, he had to try it on:
My work keeps my pretty busy – but never too busy for my boy. I’ll always have my work – but I won’t always have a little boy.
In Dad School, I’m in a process of teaching my son both how to read and to understand how we got the Bible. One recent trip I purchased Dr. Seuss’ “The BIG Green Book of Beginner Books” and my five year old is loving the funny stories it contains that originally were published books in their own right, but now, are compiled in this single thick green book. Since we are currently practicing pointing out the letters of words and sounding them out, I decided the title of the book would be our goal last night since it provided a review of “BIG” (he just learned that a few days ago in Go, Dog Go!”) and a review of plural with the occurrence of “Book” and “Books” both being in the title. Then it struck me! Here I was helping him sound out a “Book of Books” which is exactly what the Bible is! The cover even shows little pictures of the “books within this book!” My heart skipped a beat! I had to force myself to hold off on the spiritual application and stick to the reading lesson first. But once he had mastered the title, I first explained with this “Big Green Book of Books” how it was a collection of books that once were separate and why the publisher has compiled them and we talked about why that was helpful – for carrying around for example. We talked about how they chose which books to put together: they were all “Beginner” books, books to help young kids learn to read, and (he noted) they were all funny stories!
Then I got a Bible out and said, “Did you know the BIble is a ‘Book of Books’?” We talked about how the Big Green Book of Books had six books in it, and had him guess how many were in the Bible. He guessed 100! He was close. 66 is the answer. We talked a little about how they were chosen. They also have the same author, God. And the same purpose, to help people know how to live life. And while they might not be funny, they are helpful and are our guide for life. The word Bible actually means “Books” because it isn’t one book, but many book put together, just like this Big Green Book we are reading.
I think for the first time he understands the basic structure of the Bible, thanks to Dr. Seuss’ “Book of Books.”
It might be worth picking up the Big Green Book of Beginner Books as an object lesson. It is a great book on its on merit besides the object lesson it provides.
This was the first Memorial Day I got to hang the American Flag with my son’s help and explain to him the meaning of “Memory Day.” He asked very thoughtful questions like, “Why do we celebrate when none of our family has died?” and “Why would people die for us when they don’t even know us?”
Then we stood and recited the Pledge to the American Flag which he as learned at school. We surprised me by asking me to explain it phrase by phrase – and my tears surprised even me as I explained in language a five year old could understand:
“I pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America…”
“Luke, that means that while we love all nations and God created all nations, I am feel blessed and proud to be an American and live in this country because of how wonderful it is – and this flag is the symbol of this nation. A symbol is something that stands for something – just like you recognize cars by their symbols, people recognize our nation by this flag at world-wide sporting events, on rocket ships, and even by the flag on the moon that shows we were the first to land a space this there and have a man walk there three months after I was born. That’s why we respect this flag. Some say it is only cloth and you can do anything to it – they fail to see that it was only cloth until it was formed into the symbol or our country. Just as two sticks were just two sticks until we form them into a Cross and suddenly they remind us of what Jesus did when He died for us. Of course you can break the sticks and you don’t hurt Jesus, and you can hurt the flag without hurting our country, but we try our best to show respect to the flag to show how thankful we are for our country. Those who are mean to the flag are not reflecting a thankful heart for the blessings of this land.”
“…and to the Republic for which it stands,”
“Luke, a Republic is a land that is ruled by the people instead of the government. We have a government, but unlike most of the world, and unlike most of human history – we the people ARE the government, and we CHOOSE our leaders. You won’t understand who wonderful this is until you are older, but it means every four years we get to choose our President. If we don’t him or her, we can pick a new one. We pick the leader of our city, our state, and even our neighborhood. That is why we love our flag so much, because each of those stars stands for one of those states that all are part of the One Republic for which it stands.”
“…one nation under God,”
“Luke, under God means that our nation, when it was started was planned as a nation that would follow God’s Laws – in a minute we’ll talk about Liberty and Justice – but those needed limits, and they needed to be limited by God’s Laws, otherwise anyone could do anything they wanted and the world would be a crazy place. Someone has to decide what is right and wrong, and there is no better Person to do that than God. So our founders (the men and women who started our nation) said all our laws would be based on God’s Laws so things would never get too crazy. Anything in our culture that is crazy, is usually because our laws are going against God’s Laws – you remember that.”
“…indivisible,”
“Luke, I’m sad to say, our nation tried to split once. It was a long and terrible battle you will learn about in school someday called the Civil War. We weren’t at war with another country, but with ourselves. It was a war between the North of America and the South of America and whether we would divide and become two countries or one, and whether all people would have Freedom and Liberty and Justice for all, but you’ll more about that too when you get older. But we have decided to be One Nation from now on.”
“…with Liberty and Justice for all.”
“Luke, I’ve been to fourteen different countries around the world, and while every country has wonderful and beautiful things and the people are special and love their land and are equally loved by God – every time I came back to America I could tell how blessed and lucky I was to have been born and live here. Liberty is the freedom to live your own life the way you want to without anyone (especially the government) telling you how to live your life. It is something constantly under attack, and something we need to defend always, even here in America. But Liberty is something that is rare around the world. For many people around the world what they will do, how much money they will make, who they will marry or other things are determined the day they are born – but in America we have something we call The American Dream. Some think the American Dream is that if you are an American you should get this or that – nope. The American Dream means if you are willing to work hard, you have the opportunity to have whatever you dream. There is no one telling you “no” except you. Dream it – and work toward it!
Justice means that no matter who you are, the Justice System is available to you. In many places around the world, only the rich or famous or powerful get Justice, the unknown, poor or unconnected can only hope for justice. Here, if you can’t afford a lawyer, one is given to you. You are assumed innocent until proven guilty, not the other way around!”
(I was starting to lose him by now, he is only five, after all! But he was listening intently!)
“But Luke, a nation like America isn’t just something that happens easily – it has to be fought for. There have been evil nations that have sought to destroy us – and while many nations make their young men become soldiers, our soldier are all volunteers! That means they all sign up on their own! They just love America so much, they sign up so go and fight for America. They go to far away places to defend our Liberties, to free people who are in trouble – America is the Super Hero of the world, and our flag is like the S on Superman’s chest – when people in trouble see the USA is coming they know help is on the way. And when we win, we don’t conquer or take over, we help rebuilt and leave!
And Luke, we even help rebuilt our enemies and become their friends. Many of our friends today, Japan, Germany, Russia – were once mortal enemies – but we are a Good Nation, we stand for what is Good, so we win, and then we hold out our hand and help those who were trying to kill us, unlike any nation in World History.
That is why your dad is proud to be an American, and that is why I want to raise you to be a Patriot and why today we Remember those who died so that we might be free.”
