Kidologist.com: Karl Bastian’s Personal Site and Blog
Archive for Parenting
September 15, 2008 at 7:29 am · Filed under Devotional, Family, Life, Luke, Parenting, Spiritual Growth
For the first time in his little life my son woke up crying because of a nightmare. We awoke to his tears and like a good father I ran upstairs to see what my little boy needed. Did he climb out of the climb and fall? Did he get an arm or leg stuck through the railings? Did he drop a toy or binkey that he can’t sleep without?
Nope. He saw a cow. (don’t laugh)
I came in the room, “Daddy’s here, everything’s O.K.” to see his fear filled eyes looking to me for salvation. He reached out to me like someone drowning reaching for the life guard. I scooped him up, and seeing that nothing was physically wrong, asked, “What’s the matter, Lukie?”
“Cow!” he whispered in my ear as he pointed up toward the ceiling. “Cow up in the sky.” I put his head on my shoulder so he wouldn’t see the smile I couldn’t resist. My voice remained deeply concerned but my face couldn’t hide the silent laughter at such a cute fear. I was so happy the scariest thing in his little world is a cow in the sky! He clung to me as I tried to gather more info through simple questions. I learned that the cow was in the sky, that he had a white nose and was black. That’s about all he could tell me with his limited language skills. What seemed cute and silly to me was terrifying to him.
I’m not sure where the evil cow image came from. We haven’t watched any slasher cow movies lately and I’m not sure we have even exposed him to the cow that jumped over the moon. (I was just glad he didn’t say Darth Vader or I’d have been in big trouble!)
I held him for awhile and then put him back to bed but 30 minutes later the scary cow returned as did the tears. So I spent the night in the guest room holding my boy close so he could finally sleep assured that no cows were going to get him as long as he was snuggled up to daddy. Daddy slept fine. He knew there was no danger from cows in the sky, but to my boy the threat was real until he was in his daddy’s arms.
It makes me wonder…
How silly do my fears look to God? What things do I worry about that God has to hide his smile, how silly and cute they are from His perspective? But how loving and patient and caring my Abba Father, my Daddy is, who will come to me at any time, running even, when He hears my cries, and he will hold me. And listen to me, and wrap His loving arms around me and say, “It’s O.K. I’m here.” And if I need it, He’ll even spend the night with me. He has nothing to fear, and when He is close, neither do I.
Have you hugged your God today?
July 27, 2008 at 5:59 pm · Filed under Family, Life, Luke, Parenting, Post via iPhone
There’s just something about a boy and his watermelon. I love how everything Luke does he does with so much joy. There is nothing mundane or normal to him. What is routine for us is pure excitement for him. Whether it be simply getting dressed, taking a bath, picking up toys or eating a watermelon - he approaches everything with such a sense of adventure and joy that I wonder sometimes why we lose the pure satisfaction from the simple things in life. Why do we need vacations or thrill parks or something “new” or risk to excite us?
What if we could find deep joy and satisfaction in something as ordinary as a watermelon?
My boy has taught me that. My joy comes from sharing in his.
The next time you have to do something ordinary or mundane… smile.
Your Heavenly Father is watching and delighting in your life too.
June 19, 2008 at 6:36 am · Filed under Life, Parenting
Got my son a kids meal at Arby’s and was pleased to see that the kids meal bag had some characters values on it. I may scan the bag side when I get home. Unfortunately, their website needs work or perhaps still under development because none of it is on their website other than a mere passing mention of the core values and nothing is clickable on the kids page other than some menu items, but I really liked the six “Values” they present to kids and how they define them on the kids meal bag.
In a world that more and more just seeks to entertain kids and sell to them, it was refreshing to see a for profit company try to give some positive character instruction with apparently nothing to gain in return! I applaud Arby’s for seeking to invest in kids rather than simply profit from them.
Here is what they presented as six Core Values are how they defined them for kids:
- DREAM BIG
“If you can dream it, you can do it!”
- WORK HARD
“Do the best you can, in all that you do.”
- GET IT DONE
“Set high goals and make them happen.”
- PLAY FAIR
“Always treat other with respect and fairness.”
- HAVE FUN
“Make the most of every day. Life is meant to be enjoyed.”
- MAKE A DIFFERENCE
“Help make life better for those around you.”
I actually had some verses come to mind for each of these…. maybe you could do a Kid’s Church unit based on Arby’s with the theme of the “Beef of Scripture” or “Roasting Life” or something. Anyway, I applaud Arby’s for encouraging kids to think about higher values. Way to go Arby’s. Now they just need to get their website up to date and find some creative ways to build on these core values to encourage kids to focus on them in creative ways.
June 16, 2008 at 7:09 am · Filed under Family, KarlTube, Luke, Parenting
This video is just my Father’s Day present to myself. Yes, I’m a complete sap and am totally in love with my little boy. My wife often laughs at me and says, “You are so whipped” when she sees just the way I look at him or interact with him. The picture below is his first time sitting in a tree! (Granted, only for a few seconds - just long enough for the picture! But last Sunday at church he saw several kids in a tree and I stopped to talk to the kids about the tree and how they got up, etc. but it still surprised me when Luke said to me today, “Sit in tree!”
The video is all pictures of me and my little buckaroo to two of my favorite “Daddy Songs,” perhaps you’ll enjoy them too: Watching You, by Rodney Atkins and Little Buckaroo by Go Fish.
June 14, 2008 at 12:41 am · Filed under Family, Holidays, Luke, Parenting
I’m looking forward to Father’s Day. My first Father’s Day, as a dad, I blogged in 2006.
Little Luke on my First Father’s Day
Then I had my first official Father’s Day and blogged about it in 2007.
Luke on my second Father’s Day
Well, my third Father’s Day is just around the corner. It’s hard to believe - the time travels fast, but no complaints, Luke is at such a fun age and is so delightful to play and live with. Today we went on a hike in Oak Lawn at what we call the “secret river” - a beautiful hidden man made river tucked away in a busy suburb just a few houses from my wife’s folks. Granted, its more of a drainage ditch than a “river” but its still pretty beautiful. Especially a walk with daddy and son…
We started out around the block and discovered a hidden bridge! the ends led to a chain link fence that was chained and locked, but could be entered from the side quite easily.
There’s just something fun about going exploring!
Look at that happy boy!
Just too cute!
What fun hiking and climbing around!
It looks like a real river anyway.
Awwwwwwwww
I wonder where this path goes?
Later, we got the sidewalk chalk out.
Not quite a Pablo Picasso, Claude Monet or Pierre-Auguste Renoir, but I did my best.
Father’s Day 2008 here I come!
Being a dad is the greatest thing in the world!
May 17, 2008 at 7:21 am · Filed under Family, Kidology, Parenting
As promised yesterday , below is an exclusive SNEEK PEEK video from the next Kidology Online Training Leadership Lab: Partnering with Parents .
RIGHT NOW THIS IS ONLY HERE ON MY BLOG - as a parting gift before I go completely cold turkey offline for a week, I wanted to give you a little something to hold you over. (Oh how will you survive without my blog? )
This will not be live on Kidology.org until next week some time! So enjoy this Advance Screening via a TOP SECRET YouTube link before it’s official release next week on Kidology!
This is the introductory video that is part of the most JAM-packed Leadership Lab yet! This lab is the culmination of several years of work and includes exclusive content never-before-published that I’ve been being asked to release since 2005, ever since it was hinted at in the Kidology forum. I have finally provided detailed background, description, explanation, samples and more on the VIP Family Ministry philosophy that I pioneered at my previous church. But that’s not all.
CHECK OUT ALL THIS LEADERSHIP LAB WILL INCLUDE:
- 36 Page Leader Lab PDF – This is the core content of the Online Training.
- 52 Slide PowerPoint for Parent Partnering Forum / Training
- 7 Video files!
- Introductory Video “Best Buds Inc.” (seen above)
- 8 minute YouTube version; 450×338; 22mb
- 8 minute YouTube version; 320×240; 16mb
- 12 minute extended version; 640×480; 49mb
- Leadership Lab Training Video (Download of the online training video)
- 19 minute training video; 640×480; 81mb
- 19 minute training video; 450×338; 42mb
- 19 minutes training video; 320×240; 22mb (iPod)
- BONUS: To Be Educated video included (Usually $4 in Kidology Store)
- 3 minute video; 640×480; 8mb (view on my blog )
- Includes text of the video for making your own
BONUS CONTENT:
- 32 Page Faith-Full Families Sessions (3 separate programs for the entire family!) These interactive sessions for the whole family will help them incorporate their faith into daily life. (Provided in PDF and Word so you can customize)
- Raising Kids to Stand Strong Sermon by Karl Bastian MP3; 40 min.; 46mb
- Raising Kids to Stand Strong Sermon Notes so you can use the message
- 2 Page PDF Sample VIP Family Ministry Brochure
- 2 Page PDF of VIP Family Ministry Christmas Idea
I will be at Yosemite Summit when this goes live on Kidology and, since I won’t be blogging for a week, I am also having my blog software upgraded while I’m away. When the Lab is live and this blog is accessible, my all powerful web director, aka Tannerman, will make the link below to the brand new Lab live. But you can also just check out the home page of Kidology.org or the Kidology Online Training area. [UPDATE: Tannerman has made it live!]
NOW AVAILABLE: Kidology Leadership Lab: Partnering with Parents!
Well, this is it. I’m signing off FOR A WEEK! Be back online when I am home from Yosemite! Hopefully I won’t have tooooo many e-mails stacking up while I’m offline!
============
Update from Tannerman:
Pssst… you can get the Leadership Lab Download Kit at a special discount. $5 off the regular price… That’s only $34.99 for Kidology members!
Coupon Code: LL4BL
Expires 5/31 at midnight (CDT)
April 19, 2008 at 9:57 am · Filed under Children's Ministry, Christianity, Kidology, Parenting
Here is a SNEAK PEEK at the next Kidology Online Training Leadership Lab which is titled, “Partnering with Parents.”
There are two battles raging today in children’ ministry. The first battle is for the hearts and minds of our children. It is a battle that we are losing on many fronts. While in many places children’s ministry has “arrived” with it’s kid-friendly facilities and multi-media “edutainment” style of teaching, there is little evidence that all this “fun” and “excitement” is automatically translating into young, fully devoted disciples of Jesus Christ. This is a battle that we are all aware of for the most part, and are trying our best to engage and win.
However, there is a second battle I see raging in the Church that I’m not sure many recognize. It is a battle of the “Blame Game.” As parents and church leaders are waking up to the fact that, despite all the high-tech gadgets and endless resources, we are losing the first battle, they shift to this second one, turning on each other. Parents, who feel they are doing their best, are looking to the church for help and answers, and are feeling they aren’t getting enough. And the church, sensing the finger of blame pointing toward them, is trying to turn the finger back at parents. When I talk to children’s ministry leaders about the critical issues facing our children today, the word “parents” is often uttered with frustration or even disgust. Recently, at a national children’s pastor’s conference, a ballroom filled with hundreds of children’s ministry leaders cheered when a speaker spoke negatively about parents. As a father, daily doing my best for my own son, the laughter hurt. We, as children’s ministry leaders, are supposed to be supporting and encouraging parents, not blaming them or looking down on them as though they are somehow at fault for the negative stats we keep reading. The mantra is ringing loud and clear in churches around our country, “It’s the parents responsibility to raise and nurture children in the Lord,” as though that gets the church off the hook. And yet, while we toss the responsibility squarely at them, we still insist they bring their kids to church for us to take the lead in the spiritual input in their lives. We ask for Sunday School, Kids Church and often weekday clubs and other special events and teams. If it was truly all the parents’ job, then cancel the children’s ministry! No, it IS OUR JOB TOO.
While children’s ministry leaders can rattle off all the biblical passages that “prove” it is the parents’ job – that is too easy. I’m in agreement with all those passages and the primary role of parents, but a core component of the spiritual education of Jewish children was learning in the synagogue in the Old and New Testament. And don’t forget, Jesus’ command to “Go and make disciples of all nations” was not given exclusively to parents – it was given to the Church, to every believer whether they are a parent or not.
Yes, parents need to do a better job of owning up to their God-given responsibility to be intentional and strategic in the spiritual formation of their children, but we as church leaders need to own up to ours as well. We have in large part taken the job from parents, and then turned around and blamed them for not doing it. While we can be very pleased at the many advances in ministry tools and techniques, it is healthy to be reminded (or informed if you didn’t know) that the birth of the Sunday School movement, the predecessor of “children’s ministry,” had as one of it’s purposes to take from parents the primary role of the spiritual education of children because it was believed that the church could do a better job.
Note this quote from a leaflet published in 1818, titled Circular letter regarding the establishing of Sunday Schools:
“All parents are not qualified to instruct; and if they were, still the emulation excited by the organization of the respective classes, and by the rewards bestowed on merit, have animated children to commit to memory larger portions of scripture and a greater number of hymns, and also induced them to regard with more attention the instructions of the pious teachers than those of their parents (however capable) in private.”1
(Click image for larger viewing)
Granted, 1818 is a while ago! But how often do we quickly assume the roles that truly belong to parents? Pastor Kenny Conley wrote on his blog about how many times parents would come to him and say, “My child would like to accept Christ, would you pray with him?” Kenny admits that often he would, until he realized that instead he ought to simple coach the parent how to lead his or her own child through that important decision. I’m guilty too! For years in our “kids bulletin” I had a contest designed to help kids pay attention during the sermon during the summer when we took a break from children’s church. It was called the “Key Word Contest.” Quite simply, as kids listened to the sermon, they were to choose ten words that they thought were the “key words” of the message. I did the same. When the kids turned in the bulletins, I graded them and awarded points for a variety of the activities, but bonus points for any of their key words that matched mine. After doing this for several years I heard a challenge from a speaker somewhere: “What are you doing that parents should be, or could be, doing if you weren’t doing it for them?” (Ouch!) The next summer I added a box in the adult’s bulletin asking parents to write down ten key words from the sermon and then, over lunch, to compare theirs to their children’s and discuss them and reward them somehow for words that match. Not only did I not have to grade a hundred kids bulletins every week, but also parent after parent came to me and thanked me for helping create a Sunday afternoon discussion of the sermon. I got one of my first tastes of what it meant to partner with parents.
It has been reported by some researchers that in the very best case scenarios, most of our kids will spend a maximum of 40 hours at church each year. (They’ll spend over 400 playing video games alone.) Responding to the statistic, Kenny Conley notes, “Churches (Children’s Ministries) typically spend 100% (or close to it) of their time and resources on the 40 hours we’ll have with these kids. Wouldn’t it make sense to invest more time in the people who are truly influencing these kids? We won’t always be their pastors, but these adults will always be their parents. It’s just too simple, really.”
I sense that both sides know they need each other. Both parents and church leaders know they can’t do it alone. Both sides even know they shouldn’t feel like they are on opposing “sides.” They should be on the same side! But they’re not sure how to do it. They want to be partners, but right now it feels too contentious. They both want the same thing, and are desperate for answers – quickly! But they also don’t want to be blamed for the poor results so far. The church is desperate for parents to wake up and realize they are losing the battle – and parents are desperate for help, not blame.
In the next Kidology Online Training Leadership Lab, the topic is Partnering with Parents. While there have been many great books to come out in recent years on the topic, I believe there is a critical oversight that may just transform the way you do ministry to parents and families. I’m not talking about another program or special event. I’m not suggesting another resource to buy or technique to attempt. I will be presenting a radical new approach to partnering with parents that once you read it will make perfect sense – though it may be something you’ve never even considered before!
It’s time to stop “business as usual,” and it’s time to stop blaming parents for the alarming results we are seeing in the children who out-grow Christianity as soon as they out-grow church. There IS a way to partner with parents that may just turn your children’ ministry upside down. Begin praying now for God to open your mind and heart to a new way to partner with parents – and keep an eye out for a thought-provoking Leadership Lab, due out in just weeks.
Discussion of this article available on Kidology.org
1Circular letter regarding the establishing of Sunday Schools. Leaflet. Printed Epherma Collection, Portfolio 52, Folder 4. Boston, 1818. [http://hdl.loc.gov/loc.rbc/rbpe.05200400] Much thanks to Lois Darboone for the research help.
April 14, 2008 at 9:27 am · Filed under Family, Luke, Parenting
Sometimes you can’t decide which picture you like the best! I’m about to blog about my trip to Virginia this past weekend, but I wanted to post a picture of my “welcome home” dinner at Chili’s. My little boy is so cute, I couldn’t decide which picture I liked the best. Children have so many expressions it is impossible to capture them all, so here is simple a book mark I made myself with all four. Humor me and tell me how adorable he is!
It’s nice to be home! I am so blessed to have in my home the sweetest, nicest, most lovable little by on the earth. I can hear him yelling “Daddy” even before I get to the front door when I come home each day. I want every day to go by as slowly as possible. His hugs and kisses and smiles and teachable spirit is such a joy. Watching his personality and humor develop is incredible. I’ve always heard about “terrible two’s” but at almost 28 months this little boy is nothing but “terrific two!” That doesn’t mean there isn’t training going on, but with loving, gentle, yet firm and consistent correction, he is responding so well. He is learning so much, and the joy of teaching him about life is incredible.
To all the dads out there - don’t miss a day - soak it up - it’s a limited window of time and opportunity. Don’t let anything else become more important than loving, teaching and training your children and spending TIME with them each and every day possible.
April 4, 2008 at 11:48 pm · Filed under Adventures, Family, Luke, Parenting
Today was Sara’s Birthday. (I’ve been forbidden to say which one!) So I took the day off and we celebrated the day my wife was born by first having a Micky Mouse breakfast (sorry, no pictures, it was before we were in any state to be blogged!) complete with pancakes, eggs, bacon, juice etc. served on Mickey plates and glasses and then it was time for Mickey Mouse gifts I picked up when I was at Walt’s Place* earlier this year. Then, after nap time the real adventure of the day began, it was off to:
(click on any images to view larger)
We purchased a membership to Brookfield Zoo this year since it’s just under $100 and pays for itself in just two visits. (Free admission and parking and some other benefits) We figured with a two year old it would be a good idea this year. Today would be Luke’s first visit to the Zoo in his entire life!
So, of course, we invited Grandma and Grandpa to come along, who were also free because members can always bring a free guest and they give you six free additional free guest passes in addition to all the free passes in all the mailings we’ve been getting trying to sell us the membership!
We decided to have WILD DAY at the zoo to celebrate Mommy’s birthay!
While this picture of a camel isn’t very exciting (remember, you can click it to see a larger version!), it is the first big animal Luke got to see at the zoo. He even said “Hi” when he saw it! Just be thankful I’m not posting all the pictures of animals we took!
I managed to get this giant kagaroo to stand still and let Luke pose for a picture in his pocket. This picture is worth clicking on to see the adorable look on his face.
Luke enjoyed the animals but he REALLY liked all the cork and sticks on the ground!
Probably the highlight of the day for me was the trip to the Lion’s lair. Not because of my childhood memory from this zoo, but because of what happened today. (Kids from my past ministries and camps have heard the TRUE story of how I was attacked by a lion at this zoo as a young boy, but I will blog that story sometime later this year after another visit to the zoo, until then, you’ll have to just ask a kid from my ministry to tell you.) As for TODAY - as we were talking toward the Lion’s area, Luke actually spotted the lion in the distance before I did and before I had a chance to tell him where we were going he pointed and said, “LION!” I was shocked! I guess those Baby Einstein videos do work after all! The lion even started roaring for us. I was going to toss up a flash video I captured, but it’s really not that exciting to watch, though he did roar for over thirty seconds as he settled down for a nap. It was kinda a “I’m here, I’m bored, I’m a lion, and You’re Not” kinda roar” rather than “I’m going to eat you for dinner” kind.
Which was a good thing, because he probably could have if he’d wanted to. He was pretty big. It was fun to see Luke taking the animals in since up to this point large animals like this were things he’d only seen in books or videos. (Though he has seen a lot of deer in our neighborhood!) He has seen cows on some vacations and that would explain why he called a few animals cows!
This was one of my favorite pictures that Sara captured as father and son walked around the zoo. MAN (or should I say ‘animal?’) did it STINK in that Pachyderms House! I couldn’t wait to get out of there! Whew!
Zoo Boy with Birthday Girl!
I’ve had the privilege of being in front of hundreds of kids entertaining, but I’m enjoying more just introducing one little boy to the wonders of this world. Just pointing and saying, “Look at that animal God made….” and “I wonder why God made that that way?” “Hey, Luke, check this out….” Being able to expand his world is the most incredible joy. Fatherhood is beyond anything I ever imagined it would be.
Mommy and Lukie stop for a much needed rest after so much walking. This mom is blossoming into the most wonderful mother. She is so patient and tender and caring and selfless. And for Luke too.
On the way out, Luke gave the Buffalo a kiss good-bye. (where’s the wet wipes?) We ended Mom’s special day at her favorite restaurant, TGI Friday’s before heading home with a very sleepy boy. It was a great day with the little family.
* AKA “Walt Disney World”, just called it “Walt’s Place” to see if Steve Tanner reads this post and goes ballistic in comments. 
March 27, 2008 at 9:20 pm · Filed under Children's Ministry, Christianity, Discipleship, Family, Kidology, Parenting
When is a child truly EDUCATED? This powerful video asks that very question.
Back in 2000 I heard this most thought provoking poem on WMBI and tracked down the author to get permission to make the following video to show our parents at our church. Many of the kids in this video are now out of high school!
Every time I show this video, as I did yesterday at the Kidology To Go in Arlington Heights, Illinois (as part of the GCSSA conference) I am asked for a copy of it. Here is the video as read by some of the kids in my previous ministry. (Many thanks to Pastor Jim Crouter who did the editing for me on his PC)
Here are the words:
YOU MAY PURCHASE A DOWNLOADABLE COPY OF THIS VIDEO FOR ONLY $4 ON KIDOLOGY.org
(You will also get a Word document with the words of the poem)
