No worries, this isn’t some final post as I depart to my final destination… just as I head off to Yosemite Summit for a week of 100% complete and total disconnect from work, e-mail, Twitter, Facebook and anything that distracts me from my relationship with God.

The 5th Annual Summit is Complete:

Meet: Tom, Travis, Alan, Johnny and Tim. The gang has met up in Sacramento and fellowshiped at the Official California #Kidmin Hangout:

The super observant notice my Panda Express, I already had In-N-Out twice as guys arrived, and the Holy Spirit (or my cardiologist) would not allow me to eat it three meals in a row!

Two of them had their FIRST In-N-Out Burger:

We have shopped till we dropped, chilled in the hot tub, and eaten out at the mall, but in the morning, all the tweeting and facebooking and crazy pole pics come to an end. (See more pics on the my Twitpic Page)

WHY?

Yosemite Summit is not a conference. It is the UNconference for men in ministry because it is a break from ministry. As it’s description says, there is:

No Workshops – Just Worship
No Resources – Just Relationships
No Networking – Just God Working

My inbox is still full. My voice mail is still full. And I have lots of stuff still unchecked on my to-do lists. But Yosemite Summit is my annual time to just walk away from it all, and simply Walk with God. (literally and figuratively.)

It is when I show Him tangibly that He is more important than all the “stuff” I do for Him and I spend time just being with Him. It is when I show that I mean it when I say He is more important than anything or anyone else. It is how I show that I’d walk away from it all for Him – by doing just that once a year, for an entire week. Just dropping it all… as it is. Undone, uncompleted, unneat and untiddy and just let it lie… as it is. My office is just as thought I got up and walked out, because I did. I just go. I’m never ready for the Summit. It just finally comes, and I just go. Just like that. If I waited until I was ready, it would never happen.

If you e-mail me, you’ll get a polite auto-reply. I will DELETE all e-mail accounts from my iPhone and MacBook Air. They won’t even exist here in CA a few minutes after I post this. I only have my Air for downloading pictures each evening. That’s it.

I’m firing myself from my job. I won’t think about it for an entire week. I’ve had people say that must be hard for me. There was a time when it would have been. It’s actually quite easy for me now. Because my identity is no longer my work. There was a time when it was. But I’ve gotten over that. So I can turn it off and on as needed. And as soon as I hit publish on this post… it’s off.

And I’ll just be Karl: Child of God. Sara’s husband and Luke’s dad. Nothing more.

The rest that I am and do will be back in a week. Until then…

CHECK OUT THE GUYS I’VE SHARED THIS EXPERIENCE WITH THE PAST FOUR YEARS AND CLICK ON THE PICTURE FOR A REPORT, HIGHLIGHT PHOTOS AND VIDEO: (I’ll update this post with the sign pic from this year when I return.)

2008

2009:

2010:

2011:

Will you be in the 2013 picture?

Someone posted in the Kidology.org Forums about a really tough first Sunday as kids pastor with discipline in their first Sunday’s Kids Church. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? I wanted to blog my answer here, and encourage others to jump on over and share their words of advice and encouragement as well:

Their Post:

I just accepted a children’s pastorate at a good sized church.  Today was the first Sunday.  I have lots of cm experience and have never had discipline issues with kids.  These kids walked in and read to tear the person leading limb by limb.  I didn’t know the names so I could call their names (even though we made name tag), and I was fully prepared.  I am going to find a smaller venue to hold kid’s church.  Seems that the larger room (gym) kids just want to run loose.  I asked what they really liked to do in kid’s church for future planning and they said playing games in the back (foosball, etc) They are only in kids church maybe 30 min.  It was a rough first Sunday.  Any feedback?

My Answer:

[Edited down] First of all, (I hate sounding like a sales plug, so if you can’t afford it, e-mail support and we’ll send it to you for free – but consider getting The Kids Church Cookbook – the whole sh’bang – it will help you from planning, recruiting, creative teaching, and using kids on your team – TONS of help, over 270 pages and 7 training videos. While I hate “selling” – helping folks like you is why I wrote/created it, after teaching over 1000 kids church services I’ve learned a few things, as I was once where you are. [:s] It will help you turn things around, and save me from writing a book in this post. [:o] Like I said, if you sincerely need it free, just ask for it. My gift to you! I want you to have it if you can’t buy it. But I do know people tend to use what they invest in. So if you have a budget, invest in yourself.

Sounds like you need help, get helpers so you aren’t correcting kids from the front, that is a joy-killer and makes the tone negative. You need to the positive one, and get others to do the correcting. And I can’t encourage you enough to start a kids krew (My K.C. Krew) turn those trouble makers into your helpers! When kids are involved, they can’t criticize. Of course, its not overnight, but it makes a huge difference. Even if you have to cancel children’s church while you get ready, so they sit in “Big Church” for awhile to realize it is a privilege to be there.

If things are really bad, you may need to establish control quickly with some clear rules -

1) Stay in Your Seat.
2) Raise Hands to Speak.
3) Follow Directions.
4) Have FUN!

(Let them know #4 can only happen when 1-3 are being followed.) Then you have a three warning system per child, and after three warnings, they get a week out of kids church. You’ll gain control really fast when they aren’t allowed in Kids Church. You have to gently, kindly, soft voice but with tough love just say, “I’m not sure how things were before, but this is how I’m doing things now. I won’t have that.”

A verse I will share with you that you CANT share with a parent (!!!!) is Jesus said not to toss pearls before swine. What they meant was you can’t let the rest of the kids suffer because of a few. You love those few, but it is OK to get rid of them for the sake of the rest. They will be back, and they will start to respect you. I have stepped into really bad situations and instituted control and rules and within 6 weeks I had order and obedience because while I had creative and fun teaching – that is not enough. The kids have to know I will not tolerate disorder and craziness. (Unless it is under my direction, of course!)

You are NEVER mean, you don’t raise your voice, your face is always kind and your voice loving and soft, but you simply have rules, and they are enforced, with grace and understanding, but you are not walked on by kids. Period. They are not used to that. I’ve had inner city project kids who will obey me at church, who would not obey at home or school, and their parents are baffled. They ask, “I don’t get it, why do they obey you and not me?” And my simple (gentle) answer is, “Well, its because I expect it.”

So, my answer is (so much for short) you need help, and you need to set standards, and you need to enforce them, and within 6-8 weeks you can have control of a classroom. But you can’t do it alone. AND at the same time, the quality of the program must be improving, but they must be happening at the same time.

Please get the Kids Church Cookbook, even if I must give it to you, it has the answers and tools you need for success!

Your Turn: GO HERE

I was very touched to discover a very simple piece of paper that I had written and colored just a year after my little sister, Blessing Faith, was born…and died. I didn’t want to forget her.

She lived only 5 days due to a very rare birth condition where her brain did not finish developing. I got to hold her, and my parents later told me that my strength and trust in the Lord at age 12 helped them through it. It was something amazing for me to grasp at that time, not understanding the simple faith of children and how it can often help us more complicated adults!

Anyway, here is a close-up of what I wrote, and a PDF of the entire sheet is linked below. I wanted to make sure I never forgot that day, and here, 30 years after making this simple piece of paper on Blessing’s birthday, I am getting my wish. I am remembering.

(Click to View Larger)

Some might ask why my parents named her Blessing Faith. Well, the answer is quite simple. Right away when she was born, it was clear her life would be very short. In fact, the doctors predicted only hours at first, and yet she held on for several days.

My dad was the senior pastor of our church, and people would say things like, “How terrible” or “What a tragedy” or “How unfortunate,” etc. I remember my parents explaining to me that her life was a Blessing, and it was their Faith in God that helped them trust Him through difficult times like this. And that we too, as her siblings, should see her as a Blessing to our Faith.

I will always remember holding her and holding back my tears so I could be strong for my dad, and silently thanking God for my Blessing and asking Him to give me Faith like my parents.

Blessing Faith did a work in many people’s lives in our church. In fact, I remember my mom saying that she led more people to Jesus in five days than some Christians do in their entire life. Those words have always stuck with me.

Now, 31 years later, I remember her still. And I look forward to meeting my sister, the Blessing, someday.  Because that’s what Faith is.

Here is the PDF of my Remembrace to my Little Sister, Blessing Faith. (900kb)

On my podcast today I talked about how to RECLAIM OUR ZEAL IN MINISTRY when we feel it waning.

The Theme Verse was:

Romans 12:11 Never be lacking in ZEAL, but keep your SPIRITUAL FERVOR, serving the Lord.

I used the letters of the word Z.E.A.L. to offer four ways to rediscover ZEAL:

Z = Zero in on What Matters Most (get away from the distractions that pull you away from what drew you into ministry in the first place)

E = Encourage Others (get the focus off yourself)

A = Abandon Busyness (get away from ministry periodically)

L = Love Jesus (get back to relationship over service)

As I mentioned on the show…why do I have my son help wash my car? Is it because he is actually helpful? Do I need his help? No. In truth, I can wash the car faster and better without him. He actually hinders the task a bit.

I let him help because he wants to be a part of what his dad is doing. We wash the car together out of a loving relationship, not out of my need for his assistance.

Guess what?

Our service to God is exactly the same.

God doesn’t need our help. In fact, truth be told, our efforts probably hinder and hurt God’s efforts. However, He allows us to work with Him because He loves us and understands that we want to work with our Dad. Get this: We serve God out of a loving relationship, not because of God’s need for our assistance.

It makes you wonder why we work so hard…and often without God. It would be kinda like my son trying to wash the car without me. Pretty pointless, don’t ya think?

Listen to the free webcast.

No doubt, there are a LOT of places to interact and get help today on the Internet. Forums and Facebook groups and other places to ask for help and ideas and get resources abound. Twitter, Google+, Instagram, Four Square, Path, and so many other “places” allow us to ’social network’ and get instant help, ideas and keep in touch.

So why contribute and discuss on Kidology.org?

In a world of “I need it now” – Kidology.org takes a long term approach to helping Equip and Encourage children’s workers. We know that the same questions are being asked over and over again. What you are struggling with is not new. Others have struggled before you, and others will after you. In fact, the help you recieve, on whatever website you use, you will soon be able to pass on to others.

This is what makes Kidology.org different. The help given and shared and submitted to Kidology.org has a longer life-span than anywhere else. A question asked and answered on a Facebook wall gives immediate help, but quickly passes down the ‘river’ of the wall, and is gone forever. That wisdom is washed away by time. The investment of time and expertise and sometimes links and uploads are washed away never to be seen again. The same help, asked and answered on Kidology.org becomes part of a massive database of help that will help others again and again.

That is why when people ask me a kidmin question via Facebook I say, “Ask me in the Kidology.org forum, and I’ll answer you there.” It isn’t to push my website – it is because I want to invest my time and energy in a way that will help more than just that one person. I know that when I answer on Kidology.org, that post will have a life that will extend after that one day, it will continue to be read by others, and continue to help others for years to come.

People are constantly thanking me for help I gave them in posts and articles that I wrote on the site – many written years ago. If I had posted that info solely in a Tweet or a Facebook wall or on a site where it disappears after a short time, think of the many who would never have benefited.

And this is not only true of the things I write. This is true for you too. Your questions and answers are equally valuable! My words are now only a fraction of Kidology.org as the site has grown since 1994. And I know that after the Lord calls me home someday, it will live on to continue to fulfill it’s Mission of Equipping and Encouraging Those Who Minister to Children.

So let me invite you. Be active all over the web – as I am – it’s important. But be sure you are taking time to invest in the growing content of Kidology.org, for you will be helping others in a multiplying fashion, perhaps even long after you are even in ministry, or walking this earth! As long as the Lord Jesus shall tarry.

I’ve always called it giving a tithe of your ministry time to share what you are doing. Whether you are asking the questions, or giving some answers, content, ideas, or curriculum – everything helps us continue to build the Internet’s largerest source of Kid’s Ministry help on Kidology.org

Want to help keep it growing?

• Submit something to our Content Zones
• Join the Discussion in our Forums
• Sell something you’ve created in our store.

We laugh and laugh as the tower crashes down. At the same time, we want to see how many chairs we can add, hoping we can make it even higher than the previous game. Oh, how nervous we are as we try to add chair after chair to our wobbly tower, wondering if we can somehow defy gravity and fate – always having more chairs than the laws of physics will allow us to stack. We have never been able to stack all the chairs that came with the game. Either we aren’t very good stackers, or the game creators were generous (or cruel) in the amount of chairs they provided with the game. We keep on trying to build a tower with all of them, but it always crashes down before we can make them all somehow fit.

It kind of reminds of of life and ministry.

I am the chair at the bottom, and my life and ministry tell me there is a whole box of things that I can add on top of myself. I keep on trying to stack them – oh so many things – but the reality is, I simply can’t ever get it all done. I’m a failure every single week. The chairs come crashing down, and I hope that maybe next week I’ll do a better job at stacking the chairs of life. Can you relate?

Sooner or later, we have to accept that life came with more chairs than can be stacked! Perhaps it was a cruel joke; more likely, God was being generous with all the opportunities we have each day. Perhaps it’s just that we are attempting too much. Remember, Jesus said HIS yoke is easy, and HIS burden is light (Matthew 11:30). So when it doesn’t seem easy or light, we’re probably attempting more than He is asking.

It might be time to let some chairs fall where they may, sit in the Lazy Boy, and open the Word.

Try it, He’ll like it!

There has been a great deal of discussion over whether the movie is a good or evil and what the deeper messages of the books and film are, but when James Cameron’s Titanic broke all previous records, the block buster sales taught us a lot more about a woman’s desire to find a man willing to die for her, than it did about a famous ship’s collision with an ice berg. What does 450 million dollars in three weeks tell us about our culture?  Money spent to see a young girl defy a culture devoid of morals and that devalues human life? Especially when the young people flocking to see the film live in a culture nearly devoid of morals and that ever increasingly devalues human life? It’s a bit ironic!

Perhaps the young people we are wringing our hands over (who are a product of today’s adults, by the way) are not as ignorant and naive as we think. Perhaps they see what is happening in the world around them and they are hungry for a savior? Have we gotten so out of touch with our culture today that they can’t see the Church and Christ as the Answer? Have we become so like the world that they see no difference? (Statistics would suggest so.)

May there be Katniss Everdeens among our young people willing to stand up to the World, who might discover the real Christ and find that they can fight the World, not lose who they are. May they discover that they can be in the World, but not of it, and make a real difference! May what they Hunger for be found in Christ – even if the Church and those who profess Christ have let them down and failed to reflect Him accurately.

Perhaps the popularity of this film reflects not a love of violence but an awareness that not all is well in our culture and what entertains the adults above them. Could it be this film reflects a hunger for someone to stand up against it all and say, “Enough is Enough. No more.”

It ought to be us, but it may need to be a new generation of youth must rise to lead the charge. Hunger Games may just wake some up. Wouldn’t that be a twist?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

See Also: Hunger Game Titled Wrong?

This week on my podcast, KidminTalk, I featured two beautiful iPad Apps for kids and I’m giving some away!

I’m delighted to tell you about The Sounds of the Night and The Lonely Stable

Both are stunning story book apps for young children written by Jessica Kirkland from ChristianApps4kids.com

The first app is called The Sounds of the Night and it is a story about a boy going to bed and hearing noises outside that make him a little scared, but learning what they are. Each is explained as a creature God created with touch screen interactive options that are fun to discover as well as pop-out words for early readers.

The story can be read to you, or you can read it to your child. There is even an option for the book to advance by itself if you are just cuddling and want it easy.

And while Christmas may be in December, The Lonely Stable is a story for all year around because it is a story of understanding that we all have a special purpose for why God made us.

It also has fun interactive touch elements, shapes, sounds, words and more for young kids to enjoy and the same reading (or be read to you) options.

As you can see, these books are gorgeously illustrated. But I can’t show you on the blog, the fun interactions, you’ll have to experience that on your iPad!

While I think every reader of mine should support this effort of Jessica’s by buying these for their kids so she can quickly come out with the next book – she gave me some iTunes Store codes to give several away for FREE – just listen to my podcast to find out how you can get one of these two books for free!

“A little bit of hope,” the President says, is what is needed, “but not too much.” Just the right amount, he says, is far better than fear for controlling the masses. This is one of the many messages of the Hunger Games, a movie that blew away Twilight on its opening night, and in its second week, has given a beating at the box office to Mirror Mirror and Wrath of the Titans combined.

What is so powerful about this movie? Young people are flocking to the movie, and others, like myself, are going to see what all the fuss is about. The plot, at its simplest description, is revolting to many – randomly selected kids killing kids in a nationwide politically motivated reality TV show to keep down any future rebellious uprisings. At a deeper level, it is symbolic of the loss of innocence of our generation. While it was difficult to watch, I found it no more violent than the average video game I’ve seen even Christian kids playing. (A statement of fact, not approval.) What makes it especially difficult is that the audience is drawn toward rooting for  the main characters, but for these protagonists to “win,” they must kill other children. The fighters, or “tributes,” are given a mentor who is a previous victor of this game. His first bit of advice, given while drunk (since even he seems to understand the grim nature of what is to come and the unlikeliness of their success), is simply, “Embrace the probability of your imminent death; and know deep down in your heart, that there is nothing I can do to save you.”

I’ll leave story summaries and deeper analysis to those who can do it better (See Glen Wood’s Review), but for me, I am glad to have seen it so that I can get a glimpse into where our culture is, and where it is going. I did not find it as shocking as I expected it to be. The plot was not overly original; there have been many films of this nature. Claude Van Damme’s Hard Target used homeless people, for example, and there are many others with a “kill or be killed” plot. What made this different, of course, was the introduction of young kids and the nationwide reality TV show.

I met a family member of the author at my viewing of the show and have extended an invitation to do an interview with Suzanne Collins, who wrote both the books and the film adaptation. While I won’t hold my breath, I would love to know, beyond the basic plot/story, what message she was trying to communicate. What trends does she see in our country and culture that concern her? It is easy to jump all over “kids killing kids” in a movie and get irate, but do we give the same passion to the REAL killing of kids happening around us? Do we get equally upset by the desensitizing of kids to others by the way we idolize those who are attractive, or smart or from certain economic classes or races? (This is addressed in the film by the way those who are free look down on those in the districts from whom the ‘tributes’ come.) Do we get worked up about sex trafficking and child abuse and kids who are home alone so their parents can work more than necessary to acquire the “American Dream” while these kids are essentially abandoned? Do we get worked up over the promiscuity of girls trying to live up to what the world says they need to be in order to be loved or desired? Are we equally concerned about the drug use or crime of boys trying to impress each other and feel powerful and successful because that is what the media and entertainment world say is what it means to be a man? It’s always easy to get worked up over a movie because it’s a stationary target – whereas these other things are more fluid and moving, and (gulp) we are guilty of them as well. We wouldn’t want to shoot ourselves by shooting at them.

Yes, Hunger Games is violent. Our culture is violent.

Yes, Hunger Games has people obsessed with reality TV. So is our culture.

Yes, Hunger Games shows a lack of value for human life. Bingo.

Maybe Hunger Games is should have been titled Mirror Mirror?

Join the Discussion about Hunger Games on Kidology.org

Every show focuses on a “Kidmin Keyword.” This week brings us to the letter “S.” There are a host of great “S” words – silliness! strategy! servant leadership! and of course, Star Wars! (LOL)

But when it comes to children’s ministry – we are pushed and pulled in so many directions, I think we constantly need to be reminded to “keep it simple.” This doesn’t mean to abandon excellence or quality, but it means to not do more than God is asking us to do, and to focus on the basics and do those well, before we add more.

Keeping it S.I.M.P.L.E.

• STAFFING

Tips on how to staff your ministry; building a leadership team; recruiting volunteers; building a substitute strategy; and Karl’s “Secret Ace” streategy! (shhhh, don’t tell anyone!)

• INFRASTRUCTURE

Evaluating your program plan. This is the framework of your ministry. Ask a lot of “Why’s” – don’t assume every ministry should accomplish every ministry goal. They shouldn’t and can’t! And don’t be calendar-drive, be ministry driven. A blank calendar is O.K., if ministry is taking place!

• MEETINGS

Evaluate your meetings! WHY do you meet? When? What is the purpose? Expected or needed outcome. Start and END on time! Cancel if not truly needed.

• PLANNING

Look ahead. Karl gives his One Page Strategic Planning Secret. (Sorry, you gotta listen to get this valuable tip!)

• LOVE

This one is about YOU! What do YOU love about ministry? Why did YOU get into ministry? Don’t lose sight of this! Schedule it into your ministry week, or you will get dry and start to recent your ministry. Whether it is teaching, training, performing, coordinating a large even annually – make it a part of what you do!

• ENCOURAGEMENT

You are a Shepherd of kids and leaders/volunteers. Don’t lose sight of that in the midst of administrating. Start calls and e-mails with a word of encouragement. End with a short prayer. Bring back visitation. Surprise people by calling with no agenda. Be a pastor, not just a recruiter and scheduler. Make encouragement a priority by resurrecting hand written notes.

Let me encourage you to LISTEN TO THE SHOW and check out all the helpful links in the Show Notes. Every week the show notes are LOADED with helpful links to resources and webpages mentioned on the show!

I would love to be the host of a show called Kid’s Church: Impossible! I think it would be a wonderful challenge to be given a Bible story or Biblical topic, some limited props or supplies, and a time limit and have to come up with a complete lesson and then teach it. Perhaps that sounds like a nightmare situation to you, but the reality is, it happens all the time in children’s ministry. Maybe it doesn’t happen on Sunday mornings, because you ought to be planning your lessons weeks in advance.

But you don’t have to be in children’s ministry long to learn that there are many situations in which you find yourself suddenly needing a lesson. Perhaps your senior pastor comes up with a special program and asks you to provide “child care” at the last minute and even says he’d like you to teach on the same topic as he will be teaching to the adults. Or maybe one of your volunteers calls in sick the night before and can’t send you the lesson plan but says, “we are learning about Joseph and are right up to the point when he becomes second in command and his brothers show up.” You’ll need to pick up right where last week’s lesson left off. You may even be out of town on vacation and visiting your family’s church when the children’s pastor gets ill, and they say, “Aren’t you a children’s pastor? Can you do Kid’s Church? It’s Missions Sunday, can you take over?” No sweat! You can jog your mind through the C.R.E.A.T.E. mental triggers or whip out your CREATIVE IDEA THING-A-MA-JIGGER*, and you will be good to go!

I hope that you have been encouraged to start flexing your creativity muscle. The more you create, the better and faster you will become. Soon you will be amazing yourself and your students with your creative ideas. And don’t forget, you can share your ideas on Kidology.org so that other teachers all over the world can use your them too! Imagine…children in classrooms all over America, literally in classrooms thousands of miles away, laughing and learning because of YOUR idea!

Because Jesus Loves Children,
Chef Karl D. Bastian aka The Kidologist

[Reprinted from the FINAL TOUCHES conclusion to Chapter 5 of The Kids Church Cookbook: Getting Creative]

*The CREATIVE IDEA THING-A-MA-JIGGER is a device that comes with the Kids Church Cookbook Part 5 that I invented that helps you trigger creative ideas… Here are some quotes about my little invention and how it has helped people who didn’t think they were creative:

Forgiveness.

Healing.

These are words that get tossed loosely around the Church between the donuts and Sunday bulletins. They are often just technical jargon we all must learn to speak in order to fit in with little impact on hearts and souls. We can hide hurt behind smiles and speak the church lingo without really understanding the depth of what these words were meant to provide.

But there comes a time in everyone’s life when the meaning of these words is transformed from church jargon to life-saving concepts that truly save a person from self-destruction and despair.

It may be the discovery of a painful truth, a deeply hurtful choice of another person, or a sinful choice for which the consequence was far greater or faster than one imagined. Suddenly Grace is sought. Forgiveness is desperately wanted. Healing is needed. But it can seem to be a thousand miles away.

Such is the story behind the movie October Baby. It opens in select theaters MARCH 23rd, and it is well worth your time to go see, even if the topic doesn’t appeal to you initially. The story is one of a young girl struggling with Asthma and Epilepsy who discovers at age 19 that not only is she adopted, but she is an ‘abortion survivor.’ These are two words most people have never even seen next to each other. Against her parents wishes, she heads off on a road trip to discover the truth about her past. The movie is beautifully filmed, superbly acted, and has an engaging sound track. While the story itself is touching (and a bit romantic), the underlying message was of greater significance to me.

While the website for the film offers lots of help for teens and woman who are certain to be impacted by the messages related to adoption, abortion, recovery, etc. – and this is a good thing – I found the overall message of grace and forgiveness to be the most moving aspect of the film.

Forgiveness is needed in several directions throughout the film – to be given and received. Too often we are focused on wanting to be forgiven and forget we need to give forgiveness. Or we realize we need to forgive someone but fail to realize that they need to hear that we forgive them.

As an adoptive dad, I loved the underlying message of this movie that every child needs to feel wanted. More parents need to take the time to make sure their children KNOW they are loved and wanted unconditionally, regardless of their mistakes and failures; that nothing threatens that love.

BOTTOM LINE:

This is a movie worth going to see. First of all, just from a cinematic point of view, it’s not one of those lame Christian movies. (Thank goodness.) While the topic may seem “heavy,” the producers did an excellent job of keeping it fun, romantic, and engaging, with a bit of detective work on the main character’s part and some family drama It’s not too preachy, and it accomplishes its purpose without insulting the audience by spelling everything out for them like most poorly made Christian films do. Secondly, it draws you into the story and characters while never creating any real antagonists – just real people dealing with real life. Things are tied up in the end, but not too perfectly to make it unrealistic.

Lastly, I get tired of Christians complaining that no wholesome movies are made anymore, and then when those rare movies do come out, they don’t go see them, opting for the DVD release instead. Then they go spend their money at the box office on the movies that supposedly offended them. If you truly want to see more wholesome movies at the box office, dollars are the only way to vote for them. So visit a theater on March 23rd, and go see October Baby!

It is TRULY the best novel I have ever read. Never before have I laughed out loud reading a book, turned away from others lest they see my tears, or just cried boldly on a plane because I no longer cared if anyone saw my tears. I have read lines to strangers who had no idea what I was trying to express because they lacked the context, but I didn’t really care, because I just couldn’t keep that line or paragraph to myself. Cameron’s writing style and insight into the mind of a young boy is truly amazing, insightful, and downright hysterical at times.

Truly, I am Charlie Hall, the main character – a middle schooler, around whom the book revolves. And I miss him now like I lost a childhood friend I’ll never get to see again. So real did the author make him, and so vivid did he paint his memories, his experiences, his deep loves, such as Kate, a teacher he was convinced returned his love. (What boy hasn’t fallen head over heels for a teacher and pretended in his mind that it was mutual, even while he knew he was only kidding himself?) But eventually he found “true love” in Beth, a girl much closer to his age, who both befuddled and enchanted him with her spunk and charm.

Indeed, Cameron has written one of those rare novels where the greatest agony is not that the bear aspect of the story may or not be true, but rather the agony that Charlie Hall isn’t real. In the end, he hints at a conclusion the reader is perhaps to come to without directly telling it to him. It’s genius. I’ve never read a novel twice, but I will put this away only long enough to forget the details so that I can relive it. It might take several years, though, since I remember it as though I lived it. But when the time comes, I will journey with Charlie Hall again down memory lane.

Charlie is a boy who lost his mother to cancer and lives in a home with a nearly silent father who, while not a bad father, is withdrawn and dealing with his own grief while leaving Charlie to cope in his own way. An encounter with a wild grizzly bear in the woods that ends up becoming his best friend becomes central to the story – especially when the bear turns out to be perhaps more than just any bear. But I don’t want to include any spoilers, so I’ll leave the mystery of “Emory’s Gift” to those who are lucky enough to pick up a copy of the book.

Part of my connection to the book is that, like Charlie, I also lost my mother to cancer in 1996. It was also slow and painful. While I was a young adult at the time, my much younger brother was Charlie’s age, and he was still at home with an agonizing father. I saw a lot of my dad and brother in this story and in their journey toward moving on without the most loving mother this world has ever known. I am giving a copy of the book to my brother, an MLB reporter and writer who I think will greatly appreciate Cameron’s gift for storytelling. I believe it might bring some healing to his heart regarding the loss of his mom at that tender age and perhaps help him understand his dad a little better, who is now remarried and happy again. This book helped me heal some too.

I may have read somewhere that this is a book for children; however, I certainly would not recommend it for kids.* I do recommend it for the child in each of us, especially for grown men who remember the struggles of transitioning from childhood to manhood and the awkward inner (and literal!) battles they caused. Charlie’s former best friend Dan becomes a bit of an ‘enemy,’ even culminating in a classic school fight that is described both with heart and humor. It is certain to bring back many memories for men who faced the same coming of age battles in their younger years.

But it was the story of the bear that drew me to the book initially, for I encountered a bear at the age of ten, as well.

My First Yosemite Black Bear as an Adult, 2008

I was camping in Yosemite National Park at the time. I love to sleep outside, and since my nylon sleeping bag kept slipping off the plastic folding cot in the night and I’d awake in the dirt, one night my dad devised a plan to bungee cord my sleeping bag to the cot. I awoke in the middle of the night to gentle nudging in my side. Thinking someone was trying to awaken me, I peeked and discovered a large black bear sniffing me! Terrified, I only stared at my “Emory,” wondering if I was a midnight snack. Unable to speak or move, I just froze and watched (and felt) as he continued to sniff me, gently nudging into me. I remembered Forest Ranger Nina (my Kate of the week) telling us that bears never attacked campers, but that they had mauled people just trying to get food. With that thought came the realization that I had some jolly ranchers in my pocket.

The bear’s nose went under my cot, and as its massive head vanished, so did my hope of survival. I figured my final memory would be the shadow of its body without the head, when suddenly the bear lurched up, flipping my cot. At that point I figured it was “flip and slash” so I broke my silence and screamed like a girl. No offense to girls, I mean it actually as a compliment! (Did I mention I was bungee corded to the cot?) As I landed face down in the dirt, the cot on my back, my dad came out of the Winnebago Camper to save some screaming girl and saw the bear lumbering back into the woods, jolly-rancher-less, and discovered the screaming girl was actually his ten-year-old son.

Like a grown Charlie Hall, I have become a bear hunter in Yosemite ever since. You can read of my first bear discovery here: A Prayer BEARly Answered (Bear pictured above.)

The Black Bear I spotted last year, 2011

There are only 400 bears in Yosemite and over 5 million visitors annually, and every year God has blessed me with a bear sighting and the opportunity to photograph them. I have a series of photos now. I wonder, like grown Charlie Hall, if one of them is “my bear.” Of course, thirty years later, they can’t be…but its fun to wonder.

The Black Bear I spotted in 2010

So you can imagine the special connection I had to Charlie Hall reading Cameron’s novel.

Yosemite Black Bear from 2009

I hope Emory’s Gift causes many to pause and consider ‘mystery’ (for the book allows for mystery) and that the message that the book delivers (that I’m keeping from you to not spoil it) will open hearts to God. For parents, I hope that it will help them to connect better with their kids in difficult times, and  for others, that it will encourage them to seize life and not allow hurt and pain to hold them back from enjoying what is next in life, to not let their Beth get away, because there may not be a second chance for everyone. (slight spoiler, but it ends well!)

WANT A FREE COPY?

The author mailed me a stack of hard cover copies to sponsor my podcast where I talk about the book, and I’ll be giving several copies away there, but I’ll give away a THREE FREE COPIES here on my blog as well! All you have to do is COMMENT ON THIS REVIEW and tell me a story about YOU and an ANIMAL. I will choose three people at random and contact you for your address!

It doesn’t have to be as dangerous or exciting as mine – you fed your cat this morning is fine! Just tell me a true animal story and you will be entered to win!

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you pick up a copy of Emory’s Gift as a gift for someone you love, especially men, for birthdays, Christmas and this upcoming Father’s Day! They will thoroughly enjoy it!

At CPC last month, I did a workshop titled “10 Steps to a Ministry Reboot.” You can listen to it and get my notes for a limited time here: www.kidology.org/cpc12

In short, it was 10 basic areas of ministry / tips you need to address in order to both keep your sanity and have a well functioning ministry. Some of the tips are a little shocking to newer administrators. Like “Don’t Recruit” and “Stop Leading.” In other words, you should only recruit a leadership team, and they should do the rest of the recruiting (under your guidance), and don’t lead any ministries yourself. Equip leaders who lead under your leadership. It’s a workshop that often saves the sanity and ministry of those who hear it.

In response, I got the following e-mail today:

Hi Karl,

….Last week I had the opportunity to attend CPC in San Diego.  I attended your breakout:  ”Ten Steps to a CM Reboot…”  I appreciated the things you shared.  I am currently on a sabbatical that my church has blessed me with and this is exactly where I am at right now… I am at a point in my life where I need to re-invent myself as a leader and our ministry.

My question is, HOW does one make these changes.  It seems impossible and impracticable to implement all of these at one time.  So where does one start?  How do you implement these in the midst of trying to keep everything afloat?

Thanks again for sharing your wisdom and insight.

Blessings… [name removed]

It’s a GREAT question! I wanted to share here on my blog a little of what I shared with the person who wrote to me:

You are correct. You can’t do them all at once! Reinventing yourself and ministry WHILE keeping it going is the trickiest part of ministry, isn’t it? The key is prioritizing what needs to change and working on one area at a time.

What a blessing to have this sabbatical to refocus and get an opportunity to step back a bit and get some perspective. There is no “quick answer” – but I can encourage you to consider a few things.

1) Take a look at the Kidology Online Training I’ve put together. It contains five leadership labs to help leaders do just that. There are five training videos and five download kits to help walk you through this very process.

There is also a pack of all five available. If you work through these, it will really help you! It’s almost like having me as a personal coach.

2) That leads to the next best thing, getting yourself a personal coach, which we also offer on Kidology, known as Kidology Coaching.

A coach can really help you step by step to take things to the next level in your ministry by helping you set goals, holding you accountable, and helping you troubleshoot and problem solve specific problems while also identifying areas you can improve both personally and in the ministry itself. Perhaps a church that will invest in a sabbatical would also invest in coaching?

But the simplest answer is to take those “10 steps” and put them in priority order and address them two or three at a time. When I started my last ministry, I made a list of 12 areas I saw that needed to be addressed, and it took me eight years before I felt like I had addressed all 12 (and none to perfection, mind you!). I didn’t get to the ugliness of the facilities until the 7th year, and most CPs seem to start there – decorating. I wanted recruiting and the strength of the educational ministry to be my foundation, therefore I addressed those first, but not before I first addressed forming a leadership team. I had a list of my priorities (that no one saw but me, or I’d scare them all away!), and I hit them one at a time (or maybe two) and worked my way down the list, sometimes going back to refix things that were breaking because I had turned my attention to other things.

3) If you are not a member of Kidology.org yet, do join, and use the forum to ask specific questions as well, and you will find people answering with great advice.

Bottom line: you are not alone, there is help, and you can do it! Being willing to seek help, digging for answers, trying new things, and knowing you need to do some reinventing are half the battle. It is those who are content that have a problem.

I’m enjoying my 38th or 39th consecutive CPC. I’m trying to figure out how many I’ve been to, but in order to get the exact number, I need to know how many years they hosted three! But for the past 17 years I have not missed a single Children’s Pastor’s Conference at any location.

Every time people say, “were you at the one where….” I smile, because I have been at all of them since 1995. It hit me this year that soon my age will be the same as the number of Children’s Pastor’s Conferences I have attended.

I have been here as an attendee, as a speaker, as a performer, as an exhibitor…but mostly I am just here to walk around and talk to my friends who love kids ministry as much as I do.

I love meeting new people. I love seeing old friends. I love encouraging folks going through tough times. I love giving a word of advice or counsel to those just starting out in ministry or business. I love just being here among those who are as committed as I am to reaching and teaching kids or equipping and encouraging those who do.

You know the names of some of them because you read their books, use their resources, and subscribe to their twitter and blog RSS feeds. But my favorite conversations at CPC are with the folks I meet who are in the trenches of ministry, week in and week out, year after year. They are the ones for whom coming to a Children’s Pastor’s Conference was a big investment. They may only get to come every few years, or maybe it’s their first time, and they are still wide-eyed at all the workshops and resources, and they are amazed that there is an ocean of people like them – nuts about kids, and eager to more creatively reach them.

I love the conversations I get to have just sitting around after a workshop or in the aisle of the resource center or around the convention center with folks who tap my arm and ask for a minute of my time. They are the ones I’m here for.

I spend a lot of time all year looking at a computer and answer e-mails. At CPC those e-mails become associated with faces and stories, and that’s why I never miss one.

I hope to see you next year at CPC. Let’s sit down and chat, O.K.?

Related: Why CPC?

I’m at the Children’s Pastor’s Conference in San Diego, California. The same location as my very first CPC in 1995. (I’ve not missed a single CPC at any location since, and I’ve lost track of how many that is, but it’s over 35 since there are at least 2 a year and some years there were 3!)

I will not only be LIVE TWEETING at www.twitter.com/kidologist so follow @Kidologist if you are on Twitter, or just use that link if you aren’t.

but recently I’ve been using TOUT.com/kidologist to post short 15 second video updates of life…

BUT, for those of you who couldn’t come to CPC this year, I will Live Broadcast my Workshops (and some other random broadcasts just for fun) on my U-Stream Channel at: www.Kidologist.com/Webcam

HERE ARE MY WORKSHOP TIMES: (Pacific Time)

Tuesday, February 28th

2:15 p.m. 10 Steps to a Ministry Reboot

Description: Whether you are new to a ministry, or need to “make it like new,” let the Kidologist walk you through a process of “rebooting” your ministry to give it new life and energy. From “top to bottom and side to side” he will give you the tools you need to revamp and reorganize for success!

Wednesday, February 29th

9:45 a.m. Taking Ministry Into Your Family’s Neighborhoods

Description: Looking for a creative way to reached UNchurched kids? Wanting an alternative to VBS that really works? Find out how Backyard Bible Blasts (or Splashes!) can help you reach 90% unchurched kids instead of 5-10% during your summer from someone who has done it.

The best way to know when I am LIVE BROADCASTING via U-Stream is to follow @Kidologist on Twitter and temporarily turn on mobile alerts during CPC (watching the hashtage #cpc12 as well!) as I will tweet right before I go live!

Did you know that DiscipleLand.com offers FREE Online Training Webinars?

Dick Crider and Karl - Kid U 2005

My good friend and a very wise and experienced children’s ministry guru, Dick Crider, who has decades of teaching experience both as a professional and as a father and grandfather, provides LIVE online training seminars via DiscipleLand that you can sign up for and attend FREE of charge.

HOWEVER – attendance is LIMITED so it is important to sign up in advance for the online workshops that interest you.

For a complete list of the ONLINE SEMINARS or other training opportunities available from “Professor Crider,” visit DiscipleLand’s Training Events Page for complete details.

One of the highlights of the Monster Jam was the Mega-Saurus. This mechanical beast that came out breathing fire and literally chewed a car in half! It was almost more than my six year old’s brain could handle!

He came home saying, “Daddy, I wish you had a Mega-Saurus for my toy cars.” So, I answered. “Why, of course I have a Mega-Saurus! Every self-respecting dad has a Mega-Saurus! What kind of father would I be, if I didn’t have a Mega-Saurus in the garage?”

His eyes about popped out of his head! “YOU h-h-h-have a Mega-Saurus?” He stuttered?

“Of course I have a Mega-Saurus. Do you have some cars you would like to cut in half?” (Perhaps I could regain my funnest parent status after all!)

“Yeah!”

I headed toward the garage with my six year old in tow; he was practically stepping on my heels he was so eager to see my Mega-Saurus! I grabbed my Mega-Saurus, and also the Vice so that we could flatten some cars for his new Monster Trucks to drive and jump over, and headed up to his play room.

Once at this Car Table (Luke has a Car Table instead of a train table) my Mega-Saurus came out from under the table breathing fire and proceeded to chew through two of his older cars. He was beside himself with delight.

We next used the vice to squish six cars (I had to set a limit or he’d have had to flatten ‘em all this week!) so his Monster Trucks could drive over some destroyed cars!

Never once in the entire process did Luke mention that my “Mega-Saurus” was anything less than the real thing. Why? Because I was pretending with him. Of course it was real. His cars are real, the crashes are real, the noises he is making from the engines are real – the dirt he sees flying off the wheels (that isn’t there) is real. Just as real as my “Mega-Saurus.” After all, my Mega-Sauraus did come up from under the table making monstrous noises before it devoured those two poor cars!

When you join your kids in their imaginative play, you enter their world and you create a love bond that is beyond description. They know it is play – but they see that you are joining them, and it is more powerful and effective that a hundred “I love you’s” because it is how they want to be shown love.

I know all too soon Luke will be too old for toy cars… he’ll just want the keys to my car. But by then there will be things I’ll want to share with him, warnings and instructions and I want to have a foundation of Mega-Love. And it starts today with not being too busy to chew some toy cars in half.

What Mega-Saurus can you bring to life? The result will be a some Mega-Love shown to your kid.

Sara, Karl and the Cow

If they are willing to be the rear end of a cow with you!

This is Sara and me practicing in my Cow Costume (which I still have 20 years later!) eight months before we were married.

I got it for a Christmas Play where Hark, from the Herald, traveled through time to interview different characters from the Christmas Story (shepherds, wise men, innkeeper, etc.) in order to discover the “True Meaning of Christmas.” However, I thought it was too sacrilegious to have “Hark” interview Mary or Joseph in the Nativity, so I had him interview a cow off to the side instead.

I was very excited when I got my two-man, er, one man – one fiance cow costume, and Sara was happy to help me figure it out and practice with it while were on a Thanksgiving retreat with my family that winter.

Cow or no cow, we’ve made quite a team over the last twenty years!

Several of these kids I still know and some I am friends with now on Facebook, even though this was 1993 at the Village Church of Lincolshire, IL. (Pictured here are David and Hannah Shaw, Tina Myers, Athena (Rebecca) Stephens, Tyler and Kelsey Hagen, Matt, Sam and Gab Fuqua, Jennelle, Jenene and Jenna Stanonik, Amy Lane, and others I only remember first names. I am getting old!)

Here is a fun game event I did in my Rookie Year as a full time children’s pastor that I called Sumu Kids:

First, the TEAM PHOTOS:

We did this at a “Sack Lunch Sunday.” Every first Sunday of the month, I let all the grade school kids stay at church for a themed afternoon of fun and games. Its purpose was simply to deepen my relationship with the kids as well as to give parents a nice Sunday afternoon off. (Parent Points!) There was always some spiritual teaching, yes, but that wasn’t the main emphasis. Building relationship was, as it made my teaching more effective during church. (Remembering all these names some 19 years later is proof that Relational Ministry works!)

Here are the kids getting their Sumu Fighter ready:

Hannah Shaw

and another:

Jenna Stannonick

and…

The white suits I got from Abbot Laboratories

Abbot Laboratories was located near our church, and I asked volunteer at our church (Byron Wingerd – thanks!) for a few of these awesome zip up lab body suits and he gave me a bunch. (I still have some!) And then the kids stuffed them with toilet paper!

Sam Fuqua

Then….. THE BATTLE!

Of course, the goal was to knock the other person (not over) but out of the circle! The Sumu Kids had to keep their hands either on their hips or just out in the air and could only use their belly to fight. It was hysterical! The kids loved it of course.

Oh, and did I mention they were BLINDFOLDED? Their teammates had to coach them on where to go by yelling instructions! But it was hard to tell which yelling kids were your team, so it took concentration.

The spiritual application?

1) You have to listen carefully to which voices in life you listen to.

2) There are enemies out there who seek to knock you over!

3) We need to work hard to not fall down!

SCRIPTURES I MIGHT HAVE USED: (I don’t actually know, but I know myself and how I think, so I would have used verses like this. NOT ALL of them, but I’m just showing you that after a FUN game the Bible has a LOT to say about standing firm and NOT FALLING DOWN!)

Psalm 36:12
See how the evildoers lie fallen— thrown down, not able to rise!

Psalm 145:14
The LORD upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.

Ecclesiastes 4:10
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Ephesians 6:11
Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

Joshua 7:10
The LORD said to Joshua, “Stand up! What are you doing down on your face.”

1 Corinthians 16:13
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.

Matthew 24:13
but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

1 Corinthians 10:12
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!

Luke 21:19
Stand firm, and you will win life.

Mark 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

1 Corinthians 15:58
Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Philippians 4:1
Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!

James 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near.

1 Peter 5:9
Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

IN SUMMARY:

Have FUN playing games – make it count by incorporating some spiritual teaching – but at the end of the day, we aren’t in ministry to have fun, and we aren’t even in ministry simply to teach. I’m not sure if many of these remember the lesson I taught that day. (Though a well taught lesson becomes part of who they are.) But the relationship impacts deeper than a lesson, and in two directions. I miss these kids very much. Some I’m still in touch with. Others, I cross paths with from time to time, others I know I won’t see again until the New Heaven and Earth – and what a Day that will be!

I think I’ll challenge them to a Sumu Match on the shore of the Crystal Sea!

By friend Glen Woods asked this question over in the Kidology forums recently. And I think its a great question.

Here was my answer:

I think facebook has hurt blogs as I think people have gotten Internet-lazy. They just stay on facebook and don’t move around the web as much, however, I think a blog can still get traffic if done well. I read blogs, but focus on ones that are consistent (like yours, Glen) and solid content (also like yours).

If you want to get FB readers, you MUST install a Facebook “like” button and ‘like’ your own posts so they will appear on your wall so people who follow you on Facebook will see you blogged and hop over and read your blog.

RSS Readers (Like Bloglines/Google Reader) are less used today (I think) by the general public, as they were once how blogs were read.

Tablet readers are now stronger, like Flipboard, and I read a lot of blogs that way, and through Twitter feeds, so be sure to Tweet your blog posts through hashtags like #kidmin #leadership etc. as that will drive traffic.

Bottom line: Do people visit blogs directly today? No. Do they read them? Yes, but mostly because they are driven there by other means, so you need to drive people to your blog, and then try to get them to like it enough to create a way to get your content more regularly.

If you want to be read, you need to work at it. You can no longer just post and assume it will be read.

What do you think?

(Hey, prove to me you read MY blog by commenting!) LOL

On my podcast today, Nicki Straza, my Canadian sister, joins me as we discuss how to discover NEW things, the importance of trying NEW things, and most importantly, allowing God to do a NEW thing in you.

Let me encourage you to check it out!

If you missed CPC Orlando, you can still join me in San Diego!

Wondering what’s so great about CPC?

See my post: WHY CPC?