From the Coach’s In-box:
Question: How do I engage home school parents in my ministry that are challenging to engage, seem skeptical of what the church is offering, and don’t respond as I’d expect to the church’s programs?
Karl’s Answer: First, normalize what they’re feeling. Homeschool parents often chose that path because they deeply care about what and how their kids are taught. Many made that decision after frustration with systems that didn’t align with their values. That kind of conviction requires confidence. From the outside, that confidence can look like “they think they know everything.” But often it’s protective, not prideful. They’ve spent years defending their choice to friends, family, and sometimes even church members. So they may walk in with walls already up.
The key is not to see them as a subgroup to “win over,” but as parents already taking Deuteronomy 6 seriously. They are actively discipling their children every day. Celebrate that. Affirm it. When a church leader says, “We love that you’ve taken ownership of your child’s education and spiritual formation,” it lowers defenses instantly.
Shift from “Come join what we’re doing” to “How can we support what you’re doing?”
That posture changes everything.
Instead of programming at them, ask questions. Take a parent to coffee. Ask why they chose homeschooling. Ask what they’ve learned about their child through that process. Ask where they feel stretched thin. Many homeschool parents are teacher, principal, janitor, lunch lady, and guidance counselor… all before 3 p.m. A church that offers encouragement instead of competition becomes a gift.
Perhaps you could consider practical ideas like a homeschool collab day at church once or twice a month. Parents rotate leading a subject or activity while others get a break. Kids gain social interaction. Parents gain breathing room. Or offer a midweek Bible study for homeschool kids during school hours. Or simply open the church building as a safe meet-up space.
I’ve offered a “through the Bible” discipleship course during the week – many parents may not feel qualified to teach theology and biblical literacy, but may lean on you for that.
Another powerful move is building a dedicated communication channel. A simple email list, private Facebook group, or text thread just for homeschool families says, “We see you.” Gather their names, kids’ ages, interests. Treat them as a distinct community to equip and encourage.
And here’s an important mindset shift: don’t assume you have nothing to offer.
You don’t need to out-teach them academically. You bring something different. You bring the larger Body of Christ. You bring peer discipleship. You bring multi-generational community. You bring perspective from shepherding many families, not just one. That matters.
Also remind them: relationships are reciprocal. When you approach with, “How can we serve you?” many homeschool parents will eventually respond with, “How can we help?” Some of your most committed volunteers may come from that group once trust is built. They are already educators. Already planners. Already invested in their kids’ spiritual growth.
Tap into patience. Trust is earned in inches, not miles.
We’re not competing with parents for influence. We’re partnering with them for discipleship. The goal isn’t to get homeschool families into our system. The goal is to help them thrive as the primary disciple-makers of their kids.
When we move from conquest to collaboration, walls tend to fall.
RESOURCES on Kidology that can be a help to home school families:
