Home Archive by category "Humor" (Page 13)

Category: Humor

Grown Men Acting Like Kids

Today I visited my friend Pastor Andy’s church in Aurora, Colorado. About two years ago, Andy was a kids pastor at a church just 12 miles from my previous church and we were just gettin’ to become good friends when he up and moved to the gorgeous state of Colorado. So as I am visiting my dad and his wife for Christmas, I thought I’d trek on over and visit Pastor Andy at his new church today. I plan to write more about my visit with Pastor Andy soon, but I just HAD to post a short ONE MINUTE video of the highlight of the morning… Pastor Andy has a 70 foot GIANT inflatable jungle race in his Kids Church room that is a blast. After watching the kids enjoy it for awhile, I couldn’t take it any longer… I had to CHALLENGE PASTOR ANDY TO A RACE! The winner would gain eternal fame on my blog…. WHO WON? Watch the video and find out for yourself! Andy-vs-Karl.mov (5.7MB) FINE PRINT: Andy also cheated, but his wife who was filming, had already headed to the finish line to catch us coming over the top of the final slide and missed…

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State-of-the-Art Toilet Seats!

Do you hate cleaning the toilet? Does your toilet have those yucky places where it is just to hard too clean so you either wait and see if your spouse will do it or avoid it all together? Well, there is GOOD NEWS! Due to advances in modern toilet seat technology there is now a brand new state-of-the-art toilet seat that snaps off for easy cleaning! Its called the Preferred Easy Clean toilet seat. As I was sharing my joy of this discovery with my blog-hero he assured me this was blog-able, so send any complaints directly to him. With that disclaimer, here is the wonderful news for all you husbands out there who hate to clean toilets…. or just never do. HERE ARE EASY TO FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS FOR INSTALLING YOUR VERY OWN Preferred Easy Clean TOILET SEAT COVER. (Available at Home Depot) STEP ONE: Get up the courage to to actually get down on your knees near the toilet. This may take a few days (weeks even) but eventually you have to do it. Just focus on all the wife-points you will get for making her job of cleaning toilets easier. Look at it as an investment in your…

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A Smart Turkey!

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop, My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop, Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow, And he told me there was something that I had to know. His look and his tone I will always remember, When he told me of the horrors of Black November: “Come about August, now listen to me, Each day you’ll get six meals instead of just three, “And soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin, And you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin. “And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed, In’ll burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head. “Then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald ‘n pink, And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink; “And then comes the worst part,” he said, not bluffing, “She’ll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing.” Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat, I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat, And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked, I’d have to lay low…

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Pastor Karl’s Potty Party Pictures!

Children’s Pastors get the strangest opportunities, from cat funerals to…. potty parties? Several months ago a mom wrote to me that they were having trouble with getting their son to be potty trained. (who doesn’t?) She wrote, “We’ve tried the stickers, the candy, the big present, you name it, and nothing worked. SO, the other day I told Caleb that if he could go pee and poop in the potty for a week we’d invite you and Sara over for dinner to help us with a special celebration. He was so excited that yesterday he actually initiated going and did so without any help. He seems pretty psyched about having you come to celebrate with us and the motivation seems to be going well so far……” Well, I agreed to help encourage him and finally it was time for the Potty Party Celebration! Pretty Cool Potty Party Cake! (the smeared writing is Luke’s fault when I got too close to the cake he lunged for it!) Proud Expert Potty Boy! How do you entertain at a Potty Party? I thought of making a toilet out of balloons, but passed.I chose the Magic Talking Potty of course who congratulated the party…

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The Website That Just Won’t Die

OK, I really should be too embarrassed to show this to anyone – but hey, Sunday’s sermon was on being ‘real’ so here it is… I just found out that one of my very first websites is STILL out there on the web, even thought it should have died YEARS ago! I created this page back around 1996, and last updated a few links in 1998 when I started at Village Church, even though I had ceased to use the site having my own domain by then, but I was still using the dial up service. I haven’t touched this site since 1998! The company I was with, GNN.com was bought out by Flash.net, later by Prodigy, and then… I can’t even remember now. Anyway, I dropped the dial up service when it was still Flash.net, and my personal home page was http://www.flash.net/~kdbweb Tonight, following a strange train of thought (a common practise of mine) I was wishing I still had the web page I had made about my experience in open heart surgery years ago. On a whim, I typed in the old URL and PRESTO! My old webpage appeared! And yes, so did the heart surgery story. I…

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