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Category: Humor

WALK at Church signs

Perhaps you have had trouble with kids running at church, or at least, with grown-ups complaining that the kids are running too much! Well, I once made some fun signs that I posted around the church with some Bible verses instructing kids to “WALK” – granted, they were a little out of context, but it got some fun responses and got the topic of WALKING around the building into people’s minds: So I continued, “What you are doing is not right. Shouldn’t you WALK?” – Nehemiah 5:9 I am God Almighty, WALK before me! – Genesis 17:1 Observe what the LORD your God requires: WALK. – I Kings 2:3 I was cleaning out some old file draws at my office and came across these, and thought others might get a kick outta them. Please, don’t take it too seriously! It’s all in fun. Post on the walls of your church at your own risk!

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Karl, Baby Fred, Gus and Others at Family Fun Night

By request via Facebook, I’m posting the family show I did at my church last weekend. A volunteer did the video from the back so the audio is the best, but you can hear the show fairly well. It was an after dinner show so unfortunately there is some ambient noise from the clean up going on back where the camera was, etc. but for what it’s worth, you’ll get to see Gus and some of my other puppets, including the scary baby routine, and some unique “Chapel only” humor as Gus picks on the whole multi-church format of our church a bit. This coming weekend our church is launching simulcast broadcasting so the opening routine with the magic drawing board has a little fun with that, to explain the context. But with no further ado, here is the entire program in seven parts: PART 1: Magic White Board Option for Multi-Site Churches PART 2: Baby Fred and it Stinks to be a Baby PART 3: Karl and Snowball PART 4: Gus on Multi-Personality Churches, er Multi-Site PART 5: Gus Invents WWID (What Would I Do?) PART 6: The Gus Raps (Kids in the Word & Yo God!) PART 7:…

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IF

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and dry cleaners depressed? Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company will be debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose. On a more positive note, though, perhaps we can hope politicians will be devoted.

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How To Wash a Toilet

How to wash a toilet: This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you: Put both lids of the toilet up, and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a ‘power-wash’ and rinse’. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean. Sincerely, The Dog

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Inside Lightening McQueen

For all those parents out there who have little boys obsessed with all things Cars. Now you can explain to your child how Cars can be alive: Move over, Darth Vader, there is a new generation of half-machine; half-man! And his name is Lightening McQueen! Seems even grown-ups can still use their imaginations!

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Nice to know I’m not the only one

There is something that I have struggled with for years and until today, I thought I was the only one: So nice to know others share my struggles!

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