Well, I decided to bless my wife by cooking the Kid U Post-Conference Pizza Outing Left Overs last night… it was good stuff, Gino’s East if you’re curious. Deep dish pepperoni pizza to be exact, and there was some left over to take home to my wife who missed the late night dinner due to getting our little boy to bed.
I could swear (though I don’t) that she said, “Just put it in the oven at 350, it will heat up better than in the microwave.” I was a little surprised, thinking she meant just put the box in, so I answered, “Really? Just put it in the oven?” She replied, “Yes.”
So I did. I set the timer for 20 minutes but about 15 into it the kitchen smelled of smoke. I was on the phone with my dad giving Kid U highlights when my wife comes in crying, “Did you put the BOX in the oven?!?!?”
I said “Yes, just like you told me too.” Turns out it was on fire!
The fire was quickly put out, and after all the excitement, the pizza was fine, though it definitely had that “smoked” flavor! Please tell me we aren’t the only couple with communication problems.
The lesson learned? Best to just let the wife prepare the food and I’ll stick to clean up duty!
Did you know it is impossible to eat six saltine crackers in under one minute? I know, I tried! My wife saw something on TV about it but first asked me to try it. 4.5 crackers later I discovered this deeply profound fact of life. How did I live so long not knowing this? I wonder what other impossible things I’ve never tried. Maybe I’ll try six pieces of licorice next! Then Nutter Butter Peanut Sandwhich Cookies or six cans of Mountain Dew!
Seems like six little crackers should be possible, but alas, it is truly impossible!
Things you might not know if it were not for children’s ministry:
• In a room full of preschoolers, anything can happen when you close your eyes to pray.
• Prayer requests reveal a lot about parents.
• Helium tanks should be chained down tightly.
• Cheap glue adheres to skin.
• Kool Aid and song motions do not mix.
• Grand pianos are not as durable as you might think.
• Church maintenance men do not have a sense of humor.
• Offering money always rolls to the other side of the room when dropped.
• Hand-me-down sound systems can get loud when the adult service is taking communion.
• Ushers do not have a sense of humor.
• Parachute games should not be used in a room with a chandelier.
• Animal crackers can be sneezed out the nose.
• Girls are superior to boys.
• There are reasons why pastor’s kids have a bad reputation.
I’ve had this photo e-mailed to me several times by people asking me if it is Toybox Tales gone bad?
I checked my wall of action figures and my army guys all all still there, weapons accounted for, and no blood stains… so I don’t think these are my guys.
As blogged last week, I got to be interviewed at the Equip Conference in Peoria last week. It was fun to talk about how my mom encouraged me as a boy to not wait until I “grew up” to serve the Lord (some would say I still haven’t!) as well as to give some highlights of the workshops. I gotta tell ya, radio interviews always go by SO fast… those 15 minutes seemed like only 5!
They had me busy speaking nearly every session so the booth was run by some of our staff who did a great job, even dealing with the weirdos that come by the booth!
Afterward we headed out to a local pub (recommended by my good Christian friend Bill Allison) who recommended I order their famous Pork Tenderloin… he said it was GIANT… and he wasn’t kidding!
It was almost as big as the Giant Donut I had in Texas! I ordered without even looking at the menu (or the price) and dove in!
That is one giant sandwich! There no way I was going to be able to finish it! So what do you do with a giant sandwich that you can’t finish?
Play tic-tac-toe with your staff!
I’m the X’s, and was allowed to go first!
HA! foolish move! The game was won, but I didn’t let on just yet!
Contining the set up with a forced block misdirect…
Mwaaaaaaa haha! Another wasted move… Everything was proceeding as I had foreseen….
What choice did my foe truly have? None! But they tried in vain.
The VICTORY WAS FINE! Defeated my foe was! Vanquished into Nothingless!
It is a day that will be long remembered.
(The guy at the table next to us took the left-overs home to his dog)
January 22, 2008 at 10:01 am · Filed under Humor, Life
Well, at 9:58 a.m., nearly 48 hours since the world went silent… my EAR POPPED! I actually had thought it was coming back and had told family I was at 90% hearing as I could finally at least talk to people and hear what they were saying, but I must have been at only 50-60% because as I sat here eating brunch and doing some writing on Leadership Lab 03, my ear suddenly POPPED and I suddenly felt like I was standing under a waterfall of noise, or like I had stepped behind the engine of a jumbo jet! I actually said “WHOA!” out loud and got a few looks from neighboring tables.
In case you are curious, here is an animated GIF that shows how/why your ear gets stopped up. It is from this page that explains how your ear gets “blocked” and how to unblock your ears. (A method that did not work for me)
Ah, the world has so many sounds now! I can hear the clatter of some dishes in the kitchen, the clanking of a cart going by, the humming of some distant machine, the whining of some kid, the gossiping of some girls nearby, the stomach sounds of the guy behind me, or was that…. maybe being deaf wasn’t so bad?
But it will be nice when I get outside and can hear the wind in the trees and the chattering of birds! ahhhhhh
I left Chicago this morning where it was -4 degrees!
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
While I am basking in warm sunny Florida now a few days before CPC, I am quite bummed because I had to leave Sara and Luke behind due to them still being sick. It’s been over two weeks they’ve been fighting a flu bug and Sara’s has gotten worse! And even worse, we were going to celebrate Luke’s 2nd birthday at the Magic Kingdom tomorrow. Instead, I won’t even see my little guy on his birthday! (cue the violins) At least Luke doesn’t know what he’s missing out on. He just thinks he was supposed to hang out at Grandma and Grandpas for a few days.
And then to add to the weirdness of this trip, I’ve been completely deaf all day! I’m already deaf in my left ear, and as I landed this morning my only other functioning ear was completely blocked and has remained so all day. It has been quite fascinating walking around Downtown Disney unable to hear a thing, and interacting with people to order food, etc. is strange - I can barely hear my own voice and don’t know how loud I’m speaking. I hope I’ve not yelled at anyone.
I’ve tried everyone’s advice on how to up-pop my ear! I’ve done a headstand, plugged by nose and blew, taken a hot steamy bath, drank and swallowed with my nose plugged, and even poured hydrogen peroxide into my ear! Nothing works. I’m not in pain, I’m just stone cold deaf!
So if you have any suggestions, I’m desperate! This is your chance to get me to do anything you want, anything, to get my hearing back!
AND JUST FOR FUN… here is my review of this resort from two years ago:
