Being the Dad Today is something I am passionate about! I am all to aware that these days are precious and fleeting and I want to make the most of them.
There is an old saying that you can tell what’s important to someone by looking at their date book and their checkbook. Well, I think that saying needs to be updated to the modern world to be, “You can tell what’s important to someone by looking at their iPhone camera roll.”
Just glancing through mine and you can see what I’ve been up to.
We went to the local carnival this week, just Daddy and Boy and had a blast. (Well, my wallet didn’t but that’s a separate issue!)
We also enrolled in Swim Class. I’m not very impressed with the place – I was hoping they were going to push him a little further than Dad has, so far – blowing bubbles in the water is about all they have done… Dad is working on patience as he watches through the glass as they do stuff I’ve done with him for years… hopefully in the next week they’ll teach him something new and I’ll get my money’s worth, BUT at least he is having some fun.
We love to go for walks around the neighborhood. We have gotten to explore a few houses being built – and recently one that is ALL DONE was left unlocked for contractors doing final touches, so we were able to take off our shoes and walk through one we had seen when it was just framed. It was very cool to see it all done when we had seen it in several stages. I just hope we don’t meet the owners and Luke doesn’t say, “We have been in your house a bunch of times!”
We are learning the bike right now, and if we miss a day of evening bike rides (with Dad actually walking along side) Luke is disappointed. I have plans for a whole article comparing learning a bike to launching a new children’s ministry as I have thought of many parallels during this process. But it has been a very neat process to watch him overcome his fear from an early negative experience that had put off the bike to his growing skill and confidence. He is now eager for the time when the training wheels will come off.
And meals out with Dad are always a treat. Watching cars, airplanes and people are fun. He is so observant. And I marvel at his tender spirit, curious mind, and polite nature.
This week, I’ll be my sons coach and the Bible Story teacher for our sports camp at church – looking forward to that a lot.
But the best is always bedtime… the stories… the cuddling… the hiding from mom to delay the inevitable… the serious talks… the hiding in the closet and coming out with a new ‘monster’ costume on… last night I came out dressed as Mega Man! And then, of course, he had to try it on:
My work keeps my pretty busy – but never too busy for my boy. I’ll always have my work – but I won’t always have a little boy.
In Dad School, I’m in a process of teaching my son both how to read and to understand how we got the Bible. One recent trip I purchased Dr. Seuss’ “The BIG Green Book of Beginner Books” and my five year old is loving the funny stories it contains that originally were published books in their own right, but now, are compiled in this single thick green book. Since we are currently practicing pointing out the letters of words and sounding them out, I decided the title of the book would be our goal last night since it provided a review of “BIG” (he just learned that a few days ago in Go, Dog Go!”) and a review of plural with the occurrence of “Book” and “Books” both being in the title. Then it struck me! Here I was helping him sound out a “Book of Books” which is exactly what the Bible is! The cover even shows little pictures of the “books within this book!” My heart skipped a beat! I had to force myself to hold off on the spiritual application and stick to the reading lesson first. But once he had mastered the title, I first explained with this “Big Green Book of Books” how it was a collection of books that once were separate and why the publisher has compiled them and we talked about why that was helpful – for carrying around for example. We talked about how they chose which books to put together: they were all “Beginner” books, books to help young kids learn to read, and (he noted) they were all funny stories!
Then I got a Bible out and said, “Did you know the BIble is a ‘Book of Books’?” We talked about how the Big Green Book of Books had six books in it, and had him guess how many were in the Bible. He guessed 100! He was close. 66 is the answer. We talked a little about how they were chosen. They also have the same author, God. And the same purpose, to help people know how to live life. And while they might not be funny, they are helpful and are our guide for life. The word Bible actually means “Books” because it isn’t one book, but many book put together, just like this Big Green Book we are reading.
I think for the first time he understands the basic structure of the Bible, thanks to Dr. Seuss’ “Book of Books.”
It might be worth picking up the Big Green Book of Beginner Books as an object lesson. It is a great book on its on merit besides the object lesson it provides.
This was the first Memorial Day I got to hang the American Flag with my son’s help and explain to him the meaning of “Memory Day.” He asked very thoughtful questions like, “Why do we celebrate when none of our family has died?” and “Why would people die for us when they don’t even know us?”
Then we stood and recited the Pledge to the American Flag which he as learned at school. We surprised me by asking me to explain it phrase by phrase – and my tears surprised even me as I explained in language a five year old could understand:
“I pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America…”
“Luke, that means that while we love all nations and God created all nations, I am feel blessed and proud to be an American and live in this country because of how wonderful it is – and this flag is the symbol of this nation. A symbol is something that stands for something – just like you recognize cars by their symbols, people recognize our nation by this flag at world-wide sporting events, on rocket ships, and even by the flag on the moon that shows we were the first to land a space this there and have a man walk there three months after I was born. That’s why we respect this flag. Some say it is only cloth and you can do anything to it – they fail to see that it was only cloth until it was formed into the symbol or our country. Just as two sticks were just two sticks until we form them into a Cross and suddenly they remind us of what Jesus did when He died for us. Of course you can break the sticks and you don’t hurt Jesus, and you can hurt the flag without hurting our country, but we try our best to show respect to the flag to show how thankful we are for our country. Those who are mean to the flag are not reflecting a thankful heart for the blessings of this land.”
“…and to the Republic for which it stands,”
“Luke, a Republic is a land that is ruled by the people instead of the government. We have a government, but unlike most of the world, and unlike most of human history – we the people ARE the government, and we CHOOSE our leaders. You won’t understand who wonderful this is until you are older, but it means every four years we get to choose our President. If we don’t him or her, we can pick a new one. We pick the leader of our city, our state, and even our neighborhood. That is why we love our flag so much, because each of those stars stands for one of those states that all are part of the One Republic for which it stands.”
“…one nation under God,”
“Luke, under God means that our nation, when it was started was planned as a nation that would follow God’s Laws – in a minute we’ll talk about Liberty and Justice – but those needed limits, and they needed to be limited by God’s Laws, otherwise anyone could do anything they wanted and the world would be a crazy place. Someone has to decide what is right and wrong, and there is no better Person to do that than God. So our founders (the men and women who started our nation) said all our laws would be based on God’s Laws so things would never get too crazy. Anything in our culture that is crazy, is usually because our laws are going against God’s Laws – you remember that.”
“…indivisible,”
“Luke, I’m sad to say, our nation tried to split once. It was a long and terrible battle you will learn about in school someday called the Civil War. We weren’t at war with another country, but with ourselves. It was a war between the North of America and the South of America and whether we would divide and become two countries or one, and whether all people would have Freedom and Liberty and Justice for all, but you’ll more about that too when you get older. But we have decided to be One Nation from now on.”
“…with Liberty and Justice for all.”
“Luke, I’ve been to fourteen different countries around the world, and while every country has wonderful and beautiful things and the people are special and love their land and are equally loved by God – every time I came back to America I could tell how blessed and lucky I was to have been born and live here. Liberty is the freedom to live your own life the way you want to without anyone (especially the government) telling you how to live your life. It is something constantly under attack, and something we need to defend always, even here in America. But Liberty is something that is rare around the world. For many people around the world what they will do, how much money they will make, who they will marry or other things are determined the day they are born – but in America we have something we call The American Dream. Some think the American Dream is that if you are an American you should get this or that – nope. The American Dream means if you are willing to work hard, you have the opportunity to have whatever you dream. There is no one telling you “no” except you. Dream it – and work toward it!
Justice means that no matter who you are, the Justice System is available to you. In many places around the world, only the rich or famous or powerful get Justice, the unknown, poor or unconnected can only hope for justice. Here, if you can’t afford a lawyer, one is given to you. You are assumed innocent until proven guilty, not the other way around!”
(I was starting to lose him by now, he is only five, after all! But he was listening intently!)
“But Luke, a nation like America isn’t just something that happens easily – it has to be fought for. There have been evil nations that have sought to destroy us – and while many nations make their young men become soldiers, our soldier are all volunteers! That means they all sign up on their own! They just love America so much, they sign up so go and fight for America. They go to far away places to defend our Liberties, to free people who are in trouble – America is the Super Hero of the world, and our flag is like the S on Superman’s chest – when people in trouble see the USA is coming they know help is on the way. And when we win, we don’t conquer or take over, we help rebuilt and leave!
And Luke, we even help rebuilt our enemies and become their friends. Many of our friends today, Japan, Germany, Russia – were once mortal enemies – but we are a Good Nation, we stand for what is Good, so we win, and then we hold out our hand and help those who were trying to kill us, unlike any nation in World History.
That is why your dad is proud to be an American, and that is why I want to raise you to be a Patriot and why today we Remember those who died so that we might be free.”
So how do Daddy and Son survive in the store when Mommy is shopping forever?
Why, we play hide n seek, of course! I love hunting for my son, and I love how his giggles give him away, or how he is oblivious with his feet sticking out.
And I love the look of pure joy on his face and how it lights up when I find him! We both hide from Mommy every night at bedtime, and it’s a challenge to find a new stop where a grown man and a boy can hide from Mommy, but we do pretty good, and while sometimes she plays along, sometimes we fool her pretty good. The goal is always to hear, “That was a good one!”
But the truth is, there aren’t too many places to hide a little boy, and he’s pretty easy to find if you look.
That’s the nice thing about our Heavenly Father too. God has good things for us, and if we are willing to look, He hides them pretty easy too. After all, didn’t He say,
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” – Matthew 6:33
And the best news is, he hides them easy, He said so:
“God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.” – Acts 17:27
Perhaps you need to look for God today. You might think He’s hiding… but I promise you, if you look for Him, He’s let his feet peek out, or give you a clue as to how to find Him, because He likes to be found. But He usually waits to see if you’ll seek Him first. He’s like that.
If you will, He has a promise for you:
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” – Jeremiah 29:12
Children get enough discouragement from adults telling them constantly what they are doing is wrong or needs to be better. They need to hear more often how they are loved, forgiven and believed in. They need to be encouraged and reminded that while their behavior may not always be good, their value and worth is good beyond description! They are good kids in God’s eyes because He made them and whatever God made IS good! After all, every day of creation God finished by saying, “It is good.”
As we shepherd the children in our ministries it is critical that we focus on their hearts more than their behavior. When we see bad behavior, our impulse needs to be not to correct the behavior, but to mold the heart that determined the behavior. There are plenty of techniques out there that can shape children’s behavior, but if we only succeed in changing behavior, we will have only created little Pharisees who know how to behave at church. But it will be unlikely that we will impact much how they behave at home and even less how they behave at school and after they outgrow children’s ministry. But if we reach their hearts we will have truly succeeded in making disciples!
Don’t focus on changing kids behavior… focus on changing kids hearts… and their behavior will mysterious change. It the same approach Jesus is using on you, by the way.
Today, when I took my son to the park I had an experience that got me thinking. You see, my five year old LOVES to swing, and he’ll have me push him for a very long time – and it’s O.K. – I’ll use that time to talk to him, or sometimes just think as he swings and swings and swings. I’ve tried working with him on pumping his legs so he can swing himself, but it’s no use. He’d rather have his daddy push him still. So I do. And I try to just push until he says, “I’m done Daddy.”
Then today after only a few minutes he said, “Daddy, let me push you.” I was a little worried I’d clobber him on one of the return swings, but he did O.K. But then, after only a minute he got tired of pushing and said, “Why don’t you try pumping with your legs, Dad, I think you can probably do it on your own.” And walked away! Just like that! After all the visits to the park where I’d pushed him for loooong periods of time, never stopping until he was done, being such a patient and long suffering Dad, all he had for me was a minute!
I had to laugh to myself.
First, I had visions of when I was an older man and might need my son to push me around. But then I got to thinking of all the times God has been so long suffering and patient with me, and yet when it comes to giving HIM time – what do I do? A quick prayer at a meal? A zapped up prayer when I have a need? Maybe a prayer before a meeting or during a worship service? After all the time He has invested in me? Even my devotional prayers – how can they compare to the time He has invested in me?!?
You know friend, that is what Yosemite Summit is all about. It’s about finally giving back to God some extended time. He’s been supporting you during hard times, and pushing the swing of your family and ministry faithfully, patiently, never stopping to rest even once… it’s time you said,
Today was a VERY exciting day for my little boy! For he got to go MUSHING!
It was an exciting day for ME, because I got to drive my family on a sled across the snowly plains with mountains on all sides of me! What a thrill it was indeed!
Luke got to see some dogs, which he LOVES but can’t own due to daddy’s alergies (and no e-mails about allergy-proof dogs, we aren’t going there, been there, tried that!)
Here’s proof that I LIKED the dogs, just ain’t gonna OWN one!
But mushing was a BLAST! And being on the sled with my wife and son inside was a really cool feeling! (Quite literally too)
I realize those dogs were in more control than me – but I since another guest DID wipe out (woman driver, ha!) there was some steering to it! And I was the only one that got to do some downhill driving, though it was mostly level the whole way.
We never got over 15 MPH, but it was very windy and snowing, so not sure I’d want to go faster…. nah… I wish I could have, just not with the family on board!
But how could there be a Leadership Lesson in my day of Mushing? Could there BE any lesson on Leadership from my day Mushing? I think so. These dogs have done this run a thousand times. A few of them have run the Iditarodin Alaska. Some as competitors, others as medical dogs. I’m merely a tourist who gets to feel like I’m doing the real thing here. The reality is, I’m just along for a ride. But they humor me and my family. (For a buck.) But they know the trail and run it well, really just for fun! What they ran with me today is really quite easy for them compared to what they are actually capable of, I’m sure!
Sometimes in life and leadership we get to thinking we are pretty hot stuff (or cold stuff in this case) but the reality is, we are just following a path that has been laid out for us ahead of time. Either by others who went before us, or – if not – by God Himself, who determined that He wanted us to do what we are doing, He chose us, gifted us, and prepared for us the very things we are doing. And while we might think it’s pretty impressive all we are doing, it’s actually a piece of cake for God compared to what He is capable of!
I Corinthians 4:7 is a verse my dad made me memorize as a young boy, “For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?” He saw that God had given me some gifts that would lead to a certain level of success in life, and wanted to make sure early on I never thought for a moment it had anything to do with me – but that I would always know, I was just riding a sled being pulled by God.
And if I ever got off that path, I’d end up looking like this:
Yup. That’s me. I did go off the trail to see just how deep the snow was, and it IS deep! Luke said later, “I didn’t like when you did that daddy, I thought you were going to sink and I’d have no more daddy!”
I think I’d better stay on the path for my son’s sake!
What am I giving my son for Easter? Of course he will get up and wonder where we have hidden his Easter Basket – and we will play our annual “Hot and Cold” game, just as my father and mother played with me and my sisters.
“Your so cold your toes are gonna freeze and fall off!”
“Getting warmer!”
“Getting HOT!”
“OUCH! You’d better put your shoes on you’re so hot!”
“Oh, My! You need a pot holder you’re so HOT!”
Soon the basket full of candy and goodies has been discovered, only to be told, “Oh, no! We gotta get ready for church! Hurry up! Where has the time gone!”
But along with the candy and little toys, there was always a gift of spiritual significance. Something to return some meaning to all the secular hoopla and manages to sneak into our Christian holidays now-a-days. And this year, I am so excited that DiscipleLand has JUST the thing for young learners! It’s a brand new Bible Story Book – but it’s more than just a beautiful re-telling of Bible stories, it a parenting tool that helps intentional parents talk to their kids about the character traits our our Amazing God! And that is just what I want to do with my son. So I can’t wait to put the My Awesome God Bible into his Easter Basket in a few weeks.
You can order it on Kidology.org or on DiscipleLand.com and use discount code “Kidologist” and save $3. (An extra buck!) Either way is fine with me! I’m just glad YOUR KIDS are going to have such a wonderful way to be learning 200 stories and with them more about our Amazing God!
Not since Parenting is HEART Work has there been another parenting book that I really liked. Most parenting books annoy me. Why? Because I find them gimmicky or filled with tricks and cliche’s that don’t treat children as unique creations of God wired by Him for a purpose. I’m passionate about this because as a boy I was one of those boys that drove my teachers crazy – I wasn’t rebellious, disrespectful, mean or insubordinate – but they might have called me a “bad boy” when I was out of ear shot. Because I didn’t come out of a cookie cutter. But if they could see me now, they’d understand, I’m a leader, a visionary, a creative innovator, inventor and initiator. An entrepreneur. A mover-and-shaker. I still can’t sit still.
That is why I was hesitant when I was offered a free copy of Spiritual Parenting to review, because it was a new “parenting” book, and I hate parenting books! Parenting books teach parents how to get their kids to behave, and if you’ve been to any of my discipline workshops, you’ve heard me say,
“I have absolutely NO interest in children behaving.”
After the shocked faces recover, I assure them, behavior will improve, but what I’m interested in is shaping their character and their hearts. If you change their behavior – you succeed in making little Pharisees out of them. Training them how to “act” when adults are around. And what happens when the adults are no longer around. Uh, huh.Exactly!
That is the problem with teenagers. When they were kids their parents taught htem how to behave instead of shaping their hearts and character. DUH!
Well, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the premise of Spiritual Parenting is precisely that. As it says on the back cover:
“It’s hard enough to train kids to behave, but good behavior isn’t what Jesus calls for in the Bible. God wants hearts and souls that are shaped in vibrant faith and love toward Himslef and others.”
Michelle Anthony, a Family Ministries Pastor in Costa Mesa, CA, talks throughout the book about how to create environments for fostering Godly character in your children – Environments of Identity, Faith Community, Service, Out of the Comfort Zone, Responsibility, Course Correction, Love and Respect, Modeling and more. She gives practical examples, steps, stories, and scriptures to help parents see how forming a child’s character is the key to real genuine change – change that matters – not just external change. It is a book I’d highly recommend you pick up and settle down and read, have your spouse read, and then discuss.
The other book David C. Cook was generous to give me a copy of, also by Michelle, was The BIG GOD STORY – and it just that! Big and all about God! Never before have I seen in one short children’s book the story of GOD woven so simply and profoundly through the entire Bible in a way that even young children can grasp – even including the 400 years of silence between our Testaments, showing, as she says in the final letter to the Reader, “that God promised, preserved, prophesied, and faithfully presented His Redeemer at the perfect time!”
Your children hear bits and pieces of this giant story in a scattered order at church. Having this book at home and telling them where what they are hearing at church or seeing on TV fits into this BIG GOD STORY can really help them grasp the larger Story of God. I’m grateful to have this book for my son.
Note: These are not affiliate links, I make no money off the purchase of these books. However, I did get a free copy in exchange for the review.
I enjoy the Super Bowl a lot. Usually, I plan a Super Bowl Party, but this year my party was more virtual as I sat and partied mostly via Twitter and enjoyed it at home by myself, though the family came around once and awhile to check in on me and make sure I was stocked up on snacks.
Who did I root for? Well, as a former Chicagoian, I reallyreally honestly tried to root against the Packers and go for the Steelers – and as a Rush Limbaugh fan (who is a Steelers fan) I tried to root for the Steelers, but knowing nothing about them, it was hard. Especially, when they never gave me any reason to, other than being the team playing the Packers.
I really enjoyed the video CBN put together of Christians in the Super Bowl, and it really seemed to slant toward the Packers, and that made it even harder to root against them. Even though the Steelers QB wore God’s favorite number (#7) on his chest and their coach was a Christian.. they just never seemed to show up for the game, even as they managed to always stay with a TD of catching up.
I do enjoy close games! So it was one of the most entertaining Super Bowl games in recent years. But I just couldn’t help rooting for the Packers as the game went on. There was just something about the way they played that was contagious.
But it was the Super Bowl AFTER the game that was the most fun! Luke came down after the game and wanted to play football – though he loves to antagonize me and invert “football” and “baseball” just to make me correct him. (I’m conviced he does know the difference, and just likes to drive me crazy.)
So we started wrestling in the front room. The funny part was, I kept saying, “We need a football,” and he’d say, “No we don’t, just atackle me!” As every dad knows, the love language of boys is wrestling and so we spend time every evening wrestling on the floor or bed tickling, blowing bubbles, and tumbling around and it usually starts with Luke saying, “ATTACKLE ME DAD!” So when he heard the TV using the word “tackle” he suddenly realized that football was an affectionate sport filled with grown men loving on each other!
He doesn’t think they are fighting over a ball out there on the field, he thinks they are showing love and affection!
Tickling, hugging, blowing bubbles and kissing all on national television!
What a loving sport he thinks football is!
So we spent a while having our own Super Bowl – posing on opposite sides of the Living Room, running toward each other – CRASHING and then hugging and tickling and kissing and loving on each other! Finally I talked him into a football, but that didn’t last long. He much prefers the tickling version! And I do too! I know this phase of childhood won’t last forever and soon I won’t have the strength and size advantage so I’d better enjoy it while I can!
As for Super Bowl Commercials, overall they were as lame and stupid as ever, though less offensive as they have been in the past. If you liked the Mini Darth Vader, you really should see the full version that has been going viral online for a week, and that several already posted on my facebook wall.(Thanks)
Here it is, the MINI DARTH VADER COMMERCIAL, if you haven’t seen it yet:
So, while it pains me to say it as a former Chicago Bears fan (I am an official Bronco fan now) Congrats to the Packers, they really fed those Steelers the cheese!
And to all you dads out there – play with your boys! And BeTheDadToday!
